Paxton is 1 month

Here is our little guy . . .
(I know, deer in the headlights look. Not so flattering. They just can't help it at this age. And when he's awake, he is ALERT!)
Well, I am a few days behind on this post. We were out of town this past weekend and things have just been really busy. So now I am trying to catch up on some things, like the blog.

What can I tell you about Paxton at 1 month? He has been a joyful addition to our family. He has been with us now a little over 2 weeks. I hope that he now knows that I am his momma forever and ever. I think he might know that he has me wrapped around his pinkie finger. So far, he loves to be held. Prefers it actually. My mom says that he has nails in his bed. He has slept in our bed probably more than his bassinet. And that's just not my style, normally. To each his own bed. That's my theory and my preference. But wanting to bond, having some tummy issues and getting a cold last week, I have just given in. He fusses and fusses in his bassinet, unless he is on his tummy (which we won't do at night). And then I take him out of the bassinet, snuggle up with him in the crook of my arm and he lets out a big sigh and drifts off to sleep. That's what the fuss was about. He just wanted to cuddle! So we are enjoying our cuddly boy.

Today we will start Paxton on his 5th formula. It will be only his 3rd since he has been in our home. And we're going soy. He's having some tummy issues, as I mentioned, and I really hope this formula does the trick. I hate to continue switching things up on him. But my mom tells me that I was on 7 different formulas before they found a match for me. So I guess, all in all, it's not a huge deal. Paxton has definitely rolled with the punches around here and gone with the flow. The day he came home to us we changed: his bottle type, pacifier type and formula. Bam bam bam! He didn't hesitate with any of it. He has been a trooper!

Holden is loving him. Being sweet, gentle and careful around his baby brother. It's fun to watch. He is learning from us how we handle a tiny, little baby. I am getting a better grasp each day on this mommy of 2 thing. There are times that are challenging and they both have needs. And they both think they are immediate needs. And then there are times like now . . . when they're both sleeping. :) But we are getting the hang of things. And honestly, I am beyond thrilled that I can call these 3 boys my family! Such a blessing!

loving on this boy!
And a little updated family picture because we needed to get one to our agency this week.

Yes, all of these pictures are from today! It's not very often that my hair and makeup get done these days. So if pictures need to be taken, it kind of happens all at once. Speaking of pictures, we did get newborn pictures/family pictures done last Friday. A wonderful photographer that is adopted herself. We had lots to talk about! And I will have to tell you more about her in another post. Some of you adoptive families in the city need to know about the photographers involved in Celebrate Adoption. It equals cheap/free pictures. Anyways, another post, I promise.

Weekend in Texas

We spent this past weekend house hunting. My parents kept the boys all day Saturday and most of the day Monday while Jeremy and I looked for a house for our growing family. It sure is alot harder this time . . . really wanting the house to accommodate a family of 4+ rather than just a comfortable place for the 2 of us. Not to mention, we have to consider school districts and other factors that we really didn't put much thought into when buying our first house. Anyways, it was absolutely exhausting and honestly we didn't have much luck. We will probably head back in a couple of weeks and go at it again. It was hard because we were circling the big city and there are SO MANY suburbs. We really didn't even know which direction we wanted to be. I think we're beginning to get that decision narrowed down and we hopefully we will find a house soon. Our current house has moved into contract (after less than 2 weeks on the market!!), so we might all be homeless come the first of November. ;)
Anyways, here are a few pictures from a great weekend at my parents house. They loved having the boys at their house, though I know it kept them busy. While feeding the little one every 3 hours and chasing the other one for 2 hours at a time . . . it's just busy. But they said they enjoyed it. I don't think Paxton was hardly put down this weekend. They enjoyed some cuddle time with him.
The first night at about 10pm, Holden woke up screaming. I think he was overly exhausted from our drive and maybe had a bad dream. Anyways, it was very unusual for him. I took the opportunity to cuddle with him. Poppa J took the opportunity as well. I love those moments! With Holden they are not so common anymore.I just loved this picture. Jeremy had said something funny to my dad. And as you will see, Holden spent alot of time in Poppa J and Nana's laps this weekend.Nana reading a book to her boys.Nana gave Holden a sink bath after playing outside on the tire swing. He LOVES bath time! We had a few visitors of those that wanted to meet our Paxton. Aunt Phi Phi came over on Saturday while we were away looking at houses. She brought the boys gifts and got to meet Paxton for the first time. This is my dad's only sibling and she also adopted my cousin 30 years ago, so it's a special connection. Some of our very best friends, Josh and Amanda drove out to my parents house on Sunday afternoon. Jeremy had never met their little Camryn. And she is an absolute doll! Here is their little family with Paxton. It was so good to see them and we are so excited to be near them again, very soon. Josh and Paxton share a birthday. We missed Josh's 30th celebration this year. I promised that we would be there for his 31st (since we knew we were moving closer). And now with the way things have unfolded, I have also promised Josh his own smash cake at Paxton's birthday party. Who knew!We also were able to stop at my sisters house, so Paxton could meet cousins Carson and Cameron and then Uncle Dan and Aunt Amy. It was a quick stop and I took no pictures. But the sister did send a few. Look at these 4 boy cousins! There just missing there 2 + 1 on the way girly girl cousins.It was really a great weekend. Though we didn't accomplish what we set out for, we got to see some family and friends and make some introductions with Paxton. And we did actually make some progress and some decisions for this house hunt. Better luck next time.

my boys.

People have been asking how Holden has done with this new adjustment. He has really done great! Better than I ever expected. He tries to help, by handing us the bottle, the paci and checking on him when he cries. He is so patient when I have to tend to Pax. He has always been pretty independent so he has handled these changes like a champ. And I see each day that he is falling in love with his little brother. The first few days he had no interest. But now he gets close to him, leans in, pats his head. And it's pretty sweet to watch. Here are few pictures of my boys (soon-to-be best friends)!

Some rest for the weary . . .

With a precious newborn in the house, I have been a little weary. We haven't found a gentle formula for Paxton's sensitive tummy and so he has had a tough time lately. We went to the doctor today and she switched his formula and we hope this is his cure. Oh how I am going to miss our pediatrician SO MUCH!! I mentioned before that Paxton hasn't wanted to sleep alone. In fact, he has wanted to be held ALOT. The doctor said it's probably a painful tummy (she listened to it rumbling around) and he just wants to be comforted. Can't argue with that! Comforting and holding, we can do! But last night I had Jeremy put together the swing. Paxton slept for 2.5 hours in that swing so content and quiet. I think we will try it again tonight. Believe it or not, 2.5 hours has been a record here lately.
Here he is chilled out in the swing. Holden didn't ever absolutely love it. I have a feeling we will get much use out of it with Pax. Not sure if you can tell, but he is kind of holding in his paci. So protective of that thing! :)

Something new for baby Pax

So we have a name for his wall. For Holden, we did cute little letters above his crib. Which I still love and they will go with him to his next room. But for Paxton, we are using the same complete nursery. Same furniture. Same bedding. Basically, the same room. It will just be in a different house. :) I'm not complaining. This was always my intention. My mom put way too much time and effort into it to be done with it after 2 years (or 18 months - whatever). I had her make something that I thought was neutral so I could use it with more than 1 child. Anyways, I wanted something new and different for Paxton's new room in our future new house (that we will be hunting for this weekend). As the little brother he has tons of hand me downs. Which is fantastic! But everyone needs something new, right?! Holden's friend, Lyndon, has a cute little hand-painted sign in his room with his name on it. So his momma, Daysha, connected me with Brittany that makes these cute signs. Brittany went over the different options with me and then she got to work. Jeremy went by today to pick up the sign and pay for it. And guess what? It was free. Sweet Daysha bought it for little Pax as a gift. And I LOVE IT! It's something new and different for his hand-me-down room. And I can't say it enough - I love it! See for yourself . . .
Thank you Daysha for this wonderful gift. You are too good to us!

Who looks good in green?

I find this guy pretty darn cute. And I can't keep my lips of those tiny, round cheeks.

All by myself . . .

Yesterday was the test to see if I could do this thing all by myself. The day went well and we even had some friends over to play. But if you could have seen me that morning, I wasn't singing that same tune. Holden is extremely active and BUSY. He is in to absolutely everything. We haven't locked up cabinets and drawers because we knew we would be moving soon and so it seemed like a waste of time. But we have said several times in the last month, "next house we're putting locks on everything". We just can't seem to keep him out of the bathroom and kitchen cabinets and whatever else he can find to rummage through. He can make a mess real quick. See for yourself . . . .

Monday's mess!

By the way, I keep all medicines way out of reach of little ones. But I had some Children's Imodium AD tucked away in his room and Holden found it. He was running around the house shaking it up and somehow it came open. It went everywhere and Holden was slipping and sliding in it. My life is now busy enough without an extra mess on the floors and an extra morning bath for Holden. But so it goes, I suppose. One day later and it's already funny. I knew it would be with time, that's why I paused to take a picture. I made Holden sit in the mess while I ran his bathwater. And sweet Paxton just chilled in his bouncy seat the entire time. So how is that for day 1?

Beautiful blessings!!

Some of you may remember this post. Well, I attempted to recreate this picture with Paxton today. I love how they have their legs crossed the same exact way! I promise you that I didn't pose mister Pax. I guess they were just meant to be brothers . . . :)

Paxton at 25 days.

Holden around 14 days.

Seriously, how did I get so blessed to be the mommy of these 2 boys! They are my beautiful blessings! Goodness! Thank you God for choosing me!

So far into week 1 . . .

Oh how we love our new baby boy! I guess I forgot how much I enjoyed this teeny tiny infant stage. This past week has been exhausting, but so enjoyable. The first 2 nights, Paxton slept great. He woke up only once to eat and a few other times for a dropped paci. But the last 2 nights, he has decided that he doesn't like to sleep alone in that uncomfortable bassinet (right next to me)! He wants to be between mommy and daddy in the luxurious big bed. And my lazy, sleep deprived self has found that idea to be just fine. It's a habit I don't want to start. But sometimes at 3AM it's too easy to give in to those sweet wimpers . . . that soon turn into a mad shriek. Gotta love his persistence!

My mom was here with me all week, which was nice because Jeremy needed to be at work during the day. My dad came in Thursday night. He was ready to meet his grandson. But they both had to head home today. So this weekend it will just be the 4 of us, and then I am on my own on Monday with 2 little ones. Holden has done pretty well adjusting. He is not quite sure what to think. He definitely had some obvious jealousy when Jeremy or my mom held Paxton. Ironically, he is fine with me holding him. Anyways, everyone has told me to just give him some time and they will be best of buds soon. And I believe them. I do think these little boys will one day be inseparable best friends. But for now, Holden is just trying to figure out if we are babysitting and where this kid came from.

Paxton is doing well. We went to the doctor on Wednesday. They weighed him as 9lbs. 3 oz. I am pretty positive that the scale was wrong. He's just too little to weigh so much. We are praising God for his poopy diapers each time he gives us one. We've had some issues there. He is an aggressive eater. I remember it taking a good 30 - 45 minutes for Holden to drink 3 oz. Paxton gulps down 4 oz. in about 10 minutes. And sometimes he acts like he would take seconds. He moves his eyebrows up and down as he gulps as though he feels so passionately about that milk. It makes me smile each time. He's just so sweet and cuddly and has a perfect, little face. Crazy how quickly a little one can completely steal your heart. And Paxton has done it!

Crazy that we are trying to sell our house in the midst of this. So occasionally we get the call that we need to get out of the house for a showing. That has not been fun this week, but I think we've only had 2, so I can't complain too much. We've had some cancellations. You know where you clean your house from top to bottom and then they decide they don't want to come. Nice. The good news is that we think we have 2 offers. That's a merciful Lord that would take away that inconvenience from our lives. It would just be nice to fully relax at home during this time of transition.

Here are a few pictures from our week. As you will notice, I am always the one behind the camera. (Somebody has to snap the button!) And I also took about 100 of my mom and Paxton together. But they were all with her camera which is back in Texas. So here's what I've got for now.

notice that he is NOT sleeping in his little bed . . .

but getting a little too comfy in our bed.

Paxton and Poppa J meet for the first time

ferociously taking that bottle

For simplicity's sake. . .

Jeremy cut Holden's hair again. He did it for me. Holden cries as we pic through it each morning and with the addition of Paxton, I finally decided it wasn't worth it. Not worth the tears and struggle. I think Holden knew months ago that it wasn't worth it.
And though I love those curls that J shaved off tonight, I find him pretty stinkin' cute no matter what!

He's home!

Yay! Our little boy is finally home. And what fun today has been. I felt completely sick on our way to the agency today. I thought I was going to puke right there in the floorboard of our car. Just a combination of nerves, I guess. But then we had another great visit with Paxton's birthmom and her family. We are very blessed! We spent about an hour with the family and got some great pictures together. Everyone was loving on Paxton. Then we headed home. Holden just watched his little brother the whole way home. And said "bubba" alot during that car ride. Then we came home and literally forgot to take pictures. We were just cuddling with our new baby boy all evening. My mom came in last night. And she has already been very helpful. It's been good to have the extra hands. And I will enjoy those extra hands all week long! Later this evening I decided that some of you might want to see our handsome little fella, so I snapped a few pictures. More details to come later . . . not sure when. But here is really what you have been waiting for . . .

Meeting our little one!
I caught daddy loving on baby Pax. They were finally getting some one on one time.

sweet, alert face.
we're all in love our new little bundle!
Holden checking in on bubba. Right after this picture Holden offered Paxton his paci. Already trying to share. Sweet brothers!
A family picture right before bedtime. I honestly CAN NOT believe that we are so quickly a family of 4. I am loving it!

sweet face.

Just because I've gone too many posts without showing you this sweet face. I sure love this boy! Well, both of them!

things i will miss . . .

In completely random order.
1) This one was Jeremy's request. He moved here almost 7 years ago not liking Italian food. Until he met . . .2) A church we really like that occasionally worships with rap music. Can anyone else say that? (that doesn't go to my church . . .)

3) This girl. We've kind of learned our way through the stay-at-home-mom thing together as our boys are less than 3 weeks apart. We get together at least twice a week and normally talk daily. What will we do without Daysha and Lyndon?!

4) These sweet friends who know our hearts so well. They share with us a passion for adoption, as they will soon be welcoming home an Ethiopian baby. And that is one of the several reasons I am sad to leave these 2.

5) Kaleidescope Kids!!! This little playgroup has been a dream come true for me! And Holden sure had his pick with the ladies. It's full of families like mine and other moms that share my passion for adoption. I wish this little group could come with us to Texas. But on the upside, this week I had a little email invite to a similar group in our new area. Wow! God answering prayers before I even have time to worry about it.

6) City Bites! I love the California Club, hold the mayo, add mustard. But I won't miss the bathroom with the 2 way mirror. Too freaky!

7) The lack of traffic. It really is nonexistent here. I think we are in for a rude awakening.

8) Babysitting adventures with Blake and Lauren. This has been so nice to trade off weekends and date nights with this wonderful family. We have come to really know and love their kids. And I know they love our Holden. I never have the slightest worry when he is at their home. We are going to miss this sweet family and the many date nights that they allowed us.

Okay, clearly this list outnumbers the other. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

things i won't miss . . .

Let's me start with this one because I can be lighthearted, funny (at least that's my attempt) and not so teary! Don't take me too seriously Okies, it's all in fun.
1)The OU fans can be over the top. I mean, a little nuts. Football is huge in Texas. That's the only reason Jeremy's hometown is on the map. But this is something I had never witnessed before. When we were new to Oklahoma people asked where we were from. We would say, "Texas". And we would get upside down Longhorn fingers in our face. And at the time, I didn't even know what a Sooner was. Well . . . I still don't. I for sure didn't think they were rivals to UT. I thought that was A&M right?
2)The flies are massive, but luckily slow moving and easy to kill. We had at least 9 in our house at dinner tonight. Nice. There's just no way to avoid them.

3) The wind is terrible. And after about a 3 minute walk outside, you smell like dirt. That is what this wind does to you. It makes you smell like dirt.

4) This one is added at Jeremy's request. "The freakin' cold winters." Okay, I have to disagree with this one. I love the cold, the ice storms, the snow. It brings excitement and I normally don't have to be out in it. So I will miss those days.

And I think that's about it. See, there really isn't too much to hate about Oklahoma City.

Double Stroller

So I don't think there is any way around getting a double stroller. With a 16 month old and newborn, it's going to be a necessity. So, mothers with 2 close in age: tell me what you like and don't like. The newer sit and stand styles (not sure the name) will NOT be an option for us. Holden needs to be buckled in or else he'll run like a wild animal. Also, we don't drive a mini-van (yet). And that wasn't in the plans for anytime soon. We do have good trunk space for a car (Nissan, Maxima). But space for the stroller is something that we have to consider. It's got to fit in the trunk! Any ideas for me out there? Tell me what you like and what you don't like. Nothing fancy please. GRACO is about as fancy as we get. So please help!

We are full of secrets around here . . .

Okay I have one more surprise to share with you. This one has been in the works for over 2 months. But today, it became official and FINALLY public knowledge!! Whoo! That's a long time for Holden and I to keep a secret. But we did really well.
See, Holden is standing beside a For Sale sign in front of our house. (He no longer lets me pose him for pictures. In fact, he hardly is still unless he's sleeping or harnessed.) So, yes! We're moving. We're moving to the DFW area, back south of the Red River. You'll have to email me if you want more specifics on location. I don't share that info with the world wide web. :) We are excited to finally be close to family and so many friends in the area. Our intention was always to get back to Texas and now after almost 7 years, it is finally happening. We are excited and happy for the change. But I very well know that when it comes down to it, leaving will be very sad. We have been here long enough for it to feel like home and to build some wonderful friendships. I am trying to prepare myself for the sadness that sometimes comes with moving and changes in general. Leaving people you love and trying to connect in a new place. It's never easy breezy. A new place, a new home, a new church, a new job for Jeremy. Yes, we have alot on our plate right now. We appreciate your prayers through all these new adjustments.

There are 2 posts in the works:
1) Things I will miss in Oklahoma.

Things I will NOT miss in Oklahoma.

As we wait . . .

I have tried to be productive in the last few days, as we are waiting on our bay boy to come home.

1) I prepared 5 LARGE freezer meals last night and have about 3 more to do this evening.
2) I made my little Pax a doctor's appointment with our favorite pediatrician. She loves my Holden and is never offensive like some doctors we know. :)
3) I have washed much of Holden's Newborn and 0-3 month clothing that I think will seasonly work. So then all weekend I had all the freshly washed, teeny-tiny baby clothes stacked in the rocking chair (that is now back in our bedroom). We have absolutely no drawer space in our house right now. We need to go get another dresser/chest for one of the boys. Anyways, while I was cooking last night, sweet Jeremy sacrificed a drawer where his clothes normally go. So when I returned to the bedroom, he had Paxton's clothes neatly tucked in his spare dresser drawer.
4) For the last 4 nights I have cuddled with a little baby blanket. And we are headed back to our adoption agency today to hand over the blanket. They are going to deliver it to Paxton so that maybe, just maybe, my smell will be somewhat familiar to him when we meet on Monday. And then we can let the bonding begin.

We are so excited! Each day brings us one day closer!

P is for Paxton

Paxton Clark was born on August 26, 2009. 7lbs. 4 oz. 19.5 inches long. We learned about him last Saturday. At that point, he wasn't yet Paxton. The details of this baby boy seemed so similar to Holden that our hearts were immediately drawn to him. We had no face to picture in our minds but emotionally we were already becoming quite attached to the idea of adding this little guy to our family. Originally, I had planned to space my kids out 2-3 years in age. Obviously, I am not a quick learner. I should understand by now that God makes the plans, not I. So we are going to have 2 little boys almost 16 months apart! And we could not be more excited. We were able to share with friends at church today and I couldn't wipe the huge grin from my face. We love adoption and how it changes our view. It has recharged us, refocused us already and he is not yet even in our arms. Above is a scanned photo that his birth mother provided to us. We have yet to meet him face to face, so daily we just stare at this sweet photo. We will meet and bring home baby Paxton next Monday.

I love that it's another boy. With the boys being so close in age, I am very hopeful that eventually they will be the best of friends. We were able to meet Paxton's sweet birth mother on Friday night. I will refer to her as M. This meeting was something that we had never experienced before as Holden's adoption is closed. How do you ever prepare for that moment? Meeting the woman that is going to hand over her son for you to love and raise. She must experience loss and grief as our lives are doubled over with joy. In many ways, it doesn't even seem fair. I know that next Monday will be bittersweet for Jeremy and I as we head home with Paxton. But Friday night our visit was great. This sweet girl even sent us home with some cute baby clothes and a little elephant that she had purchased for Paxton! M is truly beyond words. We count it a blessing for us and for Paxton to have the opportunity to continue a relationship with her. And I do love that she will soon have our blog address to see all the new developments going on in our family. That was one of my purposes in creating this blog - to share our everyday events with my children's birth mothers.

What's in a name? Jeremy is extremely picky when it comes to names. He can tell me "no" to a name as it's coming off my tongue. I barely get it out of my mouth as he shoots it down. After 20+ name suggestions from yours truly, we both decided that we loved the name Paxton. Since Holden has a family name, Wayne, we decided to do the same for Paxton. Clark is my meme's (my dad's mom) maiden name. And I have always liked the name Clark. He may also have a second middle name from M, just as Holden does from his birth mother. We are leaving that decision up to her. And so these are the details that we are sharing about our adoption. We are beyond thrilled to meet our son next Monday. For this week, we plan to enjoy our time with Holden and spend some time preparing for Paxton to join us.

This past week I have been thinking of the days when I was so anxious to start a family and it just wasn't happening. I will never forget the pain and loss I experienced in that time of waiting. And now it feels as if God is surely pouring out blessings over us. He is filling our home with children!
He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD! Psalm 113:9

Just curious . . . is this the news you were expecting?

Final hint . . .

And here is the final hint before the big reveal. Thanks for playing along.
Details coming soon!!

Hint #2

Okay, just to be honest, Holden and I stink at this game. Regardless, here is our next hint.

Holden has a secret . . .

but he is not revealing the big news quite yet. He will be throwing out some hints in the next few days.

Hint #1: It's start with a

(Friends that already know our secret are not allowed to play this game.)
Stay tuned for more hints! So fun!

12 idiotic things my doctor (and his med-school assistant) said to me today . . .

After, reviewing the list, I only have 5. But it felt like 12!

1) Not very many people want to adopt American babies these days. They all want to go and get babies from Africa and China.
2) In Africa, the babies actually have parents. Those parents just want rich Americans to raise their children.
3) When commenting on open adoption: Yeah, the birth parents can come back in a couple of years and get the child back if they want.
4) Do you know his (Holden’s) parents? This one was from the young med student. And I know she meant birth parents. But I still took the opportunity to educate her. Come on people. Use your noggin!
5) He asked about the cost of adoption then said something like: if you go through an attorney it can cost up to $40k. (From what I understand, it’s actually LESS expensive through an attorney only.)

It amazes me sometimes how there are types of people that think your personal life is their business. I think he’s just a nosey guy lacking in the area of social skills. But FYI, we are NEVER going back there! The time before that I strolled in with Holden, the doctor’s comment was “Well, you’re doing better than Madonna.” WHAT?! Tactfulness 101 – they should really add this to the basic prerequisites for a bachelor’s degree. That might eliminate some of the idiotic comments/questions.

SO BIG!

Since Holden was about 10 months old we would say "How big is Holden?" He would stretch his arms up high and we would say "SO BIG!" Here he demonstrates for you, with kitchen utensils in hand. (Because they are the funnest toys.)