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Saturday, May 25, 2013

the wait continues...

Today I've been in Oklahoma for 17 days. And honestly, I probably have at least one more week. At least. On Thursday I did cross the Red River and had fingerprints redone. A two-and-a-half hour drive one way for a 5 minute project. But a very important project if I ever want to get home. So I made the drive alone (since mister Abe is forbidden to cross that Red River for now), had the prints, made a Sonic lunch stop for cheddar peppers with ranch and vanilla Diet DrPepper easy ice (lots of healthy eats these days!) and back on the road for that two-and-a-half hour drive again. It was fast and furious. Abe stayed with my sweet friend while I was gone. A friend that attempted to keep him asleep during his last nap in her arms, as I was almost back to their house. She wanted it to be my face he woke up to, which is something I've been very purposeful about in the last 2+ weeks. It didn't work out, but was an incredibly sweet effort on her part. One that I wasn't expecting and for sure not requesting. He and I have been glued to one another since meeting and I really didn't want to leave him. But I had no choice. I'm glad it's another task completed. If you've been praying for us, you can now pray for speedy processing to get us home. For processing time, we've heard anywhere from 72 hours to 3 weeks to 6 weeks and anything in between. 72 hours is about the only estimate I can swallow right now. I can't even toy with those other numbers at this point. I know my sweet husband will be making phone calls and trying to track things and move this little process along to get us home as soon as possible.

Abe and I have had a good few days at our friend's home. I feel like when he wakes in the night, he looks around and studies his surroundings. Probably wondering where in the heck he is now. He is typically in bed curled up to me. And I hope he finds comfort in my consistent face that he is constantly seeing. But his location has been changing since he came to us. I keep thinking how this little guy in my family doesn't yet know his home. And maybe family is a bit fuzzy in his mind, because of the different faces he is surrounded by and that seem to change every few days (other than mine of course). But I constantly have to push those thoughts aside knowing that normal will be here soon and in time he will know home and know family. And we'll make certain he knows the permanence of both of those things, deeply.

My big boys made it home to daddy yesterday! That makes me happy. There is a large part of me that wishes they were coming to Oklahoma and joining us for the long weekend. But I do think that after two-and-a-half weeks of being everywhere else, home with daddy is a perfect place for them right now. I can imagine that they'll get to do lots of bike riding, dump truck pushing, dirt digging and other outside fun. I don't want them to have to climb back into their car seats and make another road trip, but kissing their faces would do wonders for me right now. I know it's only been a few days. It's just the lingering thought of not knowing how many more days like this are ahead. I'm a family girl! I was the little girl that never wanted to go spend a week at the grandparents during the summertime because I would miss my parents in a terrible way. And this same girl just doesn't enjoy this separation from her family now. Not only do I not enjoy it, but it makes me ache quite a bit.

Holden and Pax had a great time with the Myers these past few days. Their time was filled at the park, swimming, ChickFilA, having snow cones, dressing up like princesses ;) and so much more. I know those days were a fun distraction and you can't really know how much I appreciated the time and effort spent on my boys. So special. And Amanda included me the entire time by texting pictures of each event. A beautiful friend! She even dropped my boys off at home with a homemade dinner for them all. How she had time and energy for that, I have no idea.

Through the frustrations of this situation and the missing of my family, I've felt very loved. Time and time again by people surrounding me, friends from home and even some bloggy friends that I've never met in person. My boys have felt loved which cheers my heart since I can not be with them now. Keep praying for us. I'm missing my other three like CRAZY and hoping to gather us all in one place again very soon!!

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