A few thoughts...

I was gifted this incredible devotional for my birthday. I find it no coicidence that the reoccurring themes that seem to stick out are thankfulness and embracing the moments, rather than rushing through to the next phase. Believe me, lately rushing ahead has been my goal. Until this weekend as I started noticing all of the different ways Abe is changing and progressing. Goodness, I don't want Jeremy to keep missing out! This afternoon I read from my devotional: God is always good and we are always loved...even when what He gives may appear ugly. I do realize that my situation isn't terrible-horrible. But I have recently had the thoughts of how this isn't ideal for Abe either. He had already been through some traumatic changes with our new family and now we are moving from place to place, encountering different people at each one. New homes, new faces, new beds. And added to that is the absence of his new  daddy and brothers. Not a big deal in my mind if he were 3 weeks old. But I consider it more since he's coming up on 6 months. And I just wonder how his little mind takes it all in ~ all of the change that has happened for him in these 3 short weeks. But the devotional talked a little more about how these uglies can actually be beautiful if we ponder it a little longer, opening our hearts to the good inside the messy. So after reading this, I curled up on the bed next to my sleeping baby and I decided to finally start seeing the beauty in our mess.

- I've had a whole lot of time with just Abe. I'm sure 3rd children don't typically get the constant one on one time that he and I have shared recently. For the past 5 days no one else has needed my assistance or attention. He has had it all. And even though this won't be the reality of our lives once we are home, maybe it's exactly what Abe and I need for right now. I can be thankful for this time that the two of us have had to bond. It has been filled with countless special moments.

- Today I thanked God for a husband that I adore and that I deeply miss right now. I'm grateful he's worth missing. I thanked God for my two little boys at home that I love to share my days with. How joyful it is that I'm aching to see them rather than desiring the time away.

- I'm thankful for friends that take me into their own family without hesitation. Serve me meals, shuffle around their kid's space so that Abe and I have our own room and cry with me when I'm missing all of my boys. Compassionate, sweet friends are a blessing indeed.

- I'm grateful that we are a family of 5!!!!! It was one of my desires for 2013 to add another little one to our family. And what a sweet blessing baby Abe is! I'm so so thankful God gave him to us. Reading through my journal this week I came across one from April 11, just last month, where I told God I was feeling an ache for baby #3. I even mentioned that I wondered if that ache was because my baby was already on this earth. Whoa - My baby was here! I love that I have that journal entry in writing.

Nothing about this situation is ideal for me or Abe or my family waiting for us at home. And I do still request prayers that we can be cleared to leave this week. But at least for today, I'm glad that I was gently reminded to be thankful and to enjoy these moments that have been given to me.