These boys are not shoppers.

You see, it's probably taken me too long to realize that boys, typically, are not shoppers. And that's why you have girlfriends and sisters. But I was kind of tricked. My dad was a good shopper. Good enough to go to the mall with us as a family. Even though he normally headed to the bookstore or more commonly to the TVs in Dillard's to watch a football game. But many-a-Saturdays with his wife and 3 daughters he headed to the mall. I thought that's just what families did on Saturdays. :) It was what my family did when my mom was stuck in a small town all week long. She needed a mall when the weekend rolled around.

And then I started dating my super-cool husband. And as luck would have it, he was a shopper! He loved going out and blowing his Texas Roadhouse waiter tips on expensive clothes. Actually, too expensive for my taste. Somewhere in the last couple of years, his love for shopping has left him. Bummer for me because I never want to DRAG anyone shopping with me. I think he decided he was breaking some man codes. So around the same time Jeremy decided: he didn't enjoy shopping, but he did enjoy dark beer and he was going to be a UFC fan. Very manly things, huh?! And so, I can roll with these simple changes.

But today I decided we were getting out of the house to do some shopping. Just Holden, Pax and I. I was the only one over the age of 2. That was my first problem. I was outnumbered. To explain why I would go shopping with these boys, I should say that at our house the wall paper is now gone. So we can finally start to decorate. The oh-so-fun part for me! And it's time to start on the kitchen. Since pottery and ceramics are half off this week at Hobby Lobby, that is where I decided to go. I didn't bother bringing a stroller because I knew I would need a cart for my items. But do you know how tiny their carts are? Not so tiny I guess, unless they are filled with children. And mine was filled with children. Paxton in the actual seat, and Holden sitting cross-legged in the cart. And so I would pick out 1 item at a time and hold it with a worker at the check-out, because nothing breakable could go in the cart with Holden. I tried it once. Then I watched as he dangled a huge ceramic candlestick out of the cart and over the tile. So to the check-out it went. Holden was eating his "nack", which was a baggie of cereal. At one point, he accidentally spilled and Apple O's went everywhere! Since I come to this store often, I picked up the Apple O's and was forced to mix the clean and dirty cereal. I had nowhere else to put the ones that hit the floor except back into the original baggie. So I put the baggie in my purse, thinking out of sight, out of mind. Maybe when your 6 months, not when you're 2! (Or mere days from it!) So we had some crying going on because the "nack" was gone. So I tell Holden that I will hold him. That seems to dry up the tears. I am carrying him on my hip and he is hunched over being a "yelper" and helping me push the cart. What a big "yelper" he is! And then suddenly, Pax is really sad that Holden is in my arms while he is a full 10 inches away from my face in that cart. And so at this point, the wailing and tears start to come from Paxton. What to do-what to do-what to do? Thinking in the aisles. I sat Holden down and made him hold onto the cart. I picked up Paxton and set him on the floor of the store. I know you think that's gross, but hold on because it gets worse if you're a germaphobe. I tried to put Holden in the seat as he flailed and kicked about. Success. He's in. Screaming, but in. So then they are both screaming. I actually stood still for a second and laughed outloud at myself. Because it was kind of funny. Hobby Lobby is typically a quiet place. Kind of like a library but with wordless Christian music playing softly in the background. As I'm getting in a good laugh, I pick up Pax and carry him on my hip. He is immediately satisfied and yet Holden has the red eyes and crocodile tears coming down his cheeks. He is crying loudly and saying "hold you, hold you" over and over again. Oh, if I could only hold them both and push the cart. Well, then I would be Super-Mom. At that point, I decided that our time with Hobby Lobby had expired. And so we bought our items and left as quietly as possible. And I did give Holden the bag of dirty and clean Apple O's as I was waiting to pay. I needed something to calm him and all I had was a half dirty "nack". Whatever happened to God made dirt, dirt don't hurt? I still believe in those words. :) And that, my friends, is why it sometimes takes lots of gusto to get me out of the house these days.

I hope that I can often stop to laugh in these moments. I'm surprised that I wasn't embarrassed. Maybe because I didn't know anyone that was watching our charade. Or maybe I'm not as insecure as I sometimes think and these moments won't necessarily be embarrasing to me. I hope that's it. I mean, I feel like we are doing the parenting thing well. Not perfect. I daily catch my mistakes and tear up with regret of how I should have handled something. But I feel like God is working there. Providing me more patience each day. Providing me with gentleness. On Sunday the pastor spoke on wisdom. He asked us to list 3 areas of our life where we feel we need wisdom. These thoughts went through my head: 1) parenting . . . hmmmmmm? 2) parenting and 3) parenting. It consumes me. Probably because there is no break from it. I'm not complaining. It's the job I choose, hands down. But it's my life right now and I know that I only have one chance at this. There's no do-over when our kids are 16 and things don't look as we had hoped. So this week God has constantly been reminding me; to wait, to think, to speak softly. I'm praying for wisdom and graciously, he is providing! I am so thankful. I'm still making mistakes, apologizing for them and moving on. And with all of that being said, there is no denying that parenting is so much fun. And I truly love this season for our family. I know I am going to miss these days when they're gone. But it's also rough and tough, hard and exhausting at times. And at one point I was scouring books, trying to find all my answers. The secret solution for angel-like children. But then I came to my senses. It's not out there. And we're going to have these moments. The hard ones. But we're going to survive and hopefully laugh a little as we walk through them.