encouragement.

We are in this stage of waiting. Just the beginnings of it. And honestly, we could be in this stage for a very long time. But I haven't truly believed that would be the case. I can not know for certain what God is going to do this time. But He and I talk a lot. A whole lot. And I sure do ask for Him to reveal pieces of His plan. Sometimes I look for writing in the sky. I'm not joking. He did reveal part of his plan to us with Holden. And I'm honored by Holden's story. That God chose to speak to my often deaf and distracted ears and He grew my faith like never before. So I've been asking for that again. I'm in a very joyful and peaceful place right now. I'm thoroughly enjoying this time as a family of four. And I'm giving great effort to make my little ones feel extra special before a big transition takes place in our home. But I'm also eagerly awaiting, praying for and loving a baby I haven't yet met.
During this little phase, I've received some special encouragement that feels worth mentioning. Jeremy's granny sent us a card in the mail this week, where she inserted this poem she had come across:

Legacy of an Adopted Child

(Author Unknown)

Once there were two women

Who never knew each other.

One you do not remember,

The other you call mother.

Two different lives

Shaped to make yours one.

One became your guiding star,

The other became your sun.

The first gave you life

And the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love

And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,

The other gave you a name.

One gave you a seed of talent,

The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions,

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile,

The other dried your tears.

One gave you up-

It was all that she could do.

The other prayed for a child

And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me

Through your tears,

The age-old question

Through the years:

Heredity or environment

Which are you a product of?

Neither, my darling, neither.

Just two different kids of love.



I know this poem does not fit all adoption circumstances. But their were some special lines that really touched me. And it was just an encouragment that granny saw this, thought of us and then did something about it and sent it off in the mail to encourage and love us.

 

Also, in conversation with a sweet friend this week, she reminded me of the prize I have in my husband. Goodness, I tell him crazy things sometimes. Most recently, pertaining to our next child. I pour out my heart and I'm grateful he takes it all in without batting an eye. After 10 years of marriage and the different roads we have traveled together, he listens well when it matters the most, he trusts me often more than I trust myself and he supports and loves in a very natural way. Sometimes so naturally, that I could miss it as an act of love. And I almost did this weekend. We decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to get down our infant carseat from the attic and have it cleaned up, just in case. So he got it down for me yesterday and then he went to run some errands. I had mentioned to Jeremy that I was going to go through our newborn boxes and pull out some things that could be used no matter the gender of #3. While he was out, I texted him and asked him to pick up some Dreft (baby laundry detergent) if he just happened to go into WalMart. After returning from errands, he laid the bottle of Dreft on the kitchen counter for me. And the thought crossed my mind: He got it. That's sweet. Today I asked what he thought when he received that text. His simple response was, "I just thought you wanted to wash some baby stuff." It seems crazy, people! Why would I be washing baby stuff when there is no end in sight to this wait!? We may not have this baby for a year, or more! And I'm already doing laundry for it! But goodness, he doesn't roll his eyes. He doesn't even question this area when I start prepping for something that I can't really determine or see right now. He just trusts in what I'm feeling and he supports me without questions. And that is a prize of a husband. It's also a huge source of encouragment to me right now.

 

And finally, a certain song has been a HUGE encouragement to me for the past month or more.

I Lift My Hands
Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me
So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever

Both Holden and Pax have a special song that I sang to them. God gave me their songs before they ever came home to us. During those middle of the night feedings, when we rocked in the dark, I often sang quietly in their ear. Baby #3 has a song and this one is it! It has already been such an encouragement and has almost felt like a promise from God as we begin our wait.

 

I know that was a doozy of a post. Those are just a few things floating around in my heart right now. I don't ever want to overlook the unique ways that God chooses to love and encourage me. Whether that is through a loving family member or a song on the radio. His words may not ever come clearly written in the sky, but I don't want to take for granted these more subtle gifts.