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Thursday, June 6, 2013

going on 4 weeks.

Yesterday was 4 weeks. I really am thankful that I didn't know this process would take this long when we began. Obviously nothing would have changed, but knowing the length of our stay might have created more stress on us than the stress of just taking it all a day at a time. As frustrating as it is waiting day by day for status updates, I think knowing too much too far in advance would have been much worse.

Now for the good news. All paperwork should be getting approval from Oklahoma offices tomorrow. Should be. Hopefully. They will then overnight it to Texas for approval and then we are cleared to leave. So we might be heading home on Monday. Why these government offices do not work digitally in 2013 completely baffles me. Completely. Baffles. Me. Going home Friday for a nice, normal weekend just sounded so much better than Monday. But at this point, I just want to be home so I'm not going to complain about a few more days. And on the bright side, Jeremy and the big boys are headed up to see us tomorrow. We will have another weekend as a family. These weekends together are one of the things that have gotten me through this ordeal. We are all just very ready for our normal life again.

I'm in such a better place this week than any pevious weeks. I've hardly cried at all. ;) It may have just taken me this long to adjust my expectations to this reality. Or I've just gotten use to the chaos of this whole situation. Or maybe I can just finally see the light at the end of this tunnel. Either way, I'm in a good place for the most part. I will admit that it has been a constant spiritual battle the past few weeks. Faith and my prayer life normally hasn't been a struggle for me. I'm not boasting AT ALL. My struggles are many and in other areas. I typically have no hesitations in asking God for the impossible, to break down walls and show His power in situations that sometimes seem impossible. And then trusting His plan and His goodness regardless of the outcome. That has normally come fairly easy for me. But as I've asked for very specific things, our situation has continued to unravel even further into a bigger, impossible mess. And it was completely discouraging for my faith. I was still believing that God's plan was good...even if I couldn't exactly see the good...but I wasjust having trouble continuing to ask God to move mountains when it was clear that I couldn't understand his ways for this situation. I think I've become a little intimidated. My friend pointed this out as Satan today and I think she is right. So I'd love for God to tear down a wall and we could be cleared to go home tomorrow, but if I'm being completely honest here, I'm almost afraid to ask. So it has definitely been a little spiritual journey. A big one, actually. But His plans are good. Always. I don't always have to understand them. In the grand scheme of things, this is little stuff. The closer we get to the finish line, the more easily I'm able to recognize that. And tonight I'm not even going to suggest how you should pray for us now. Because I just don't know. But thank you to so many that have been praying for our situation. So many have been loving us in some incredible ways. So thank you, friends. We are very grateful.

1 comment:

Lindsey Wilson said...

Dear Melodie, I'm praying for you to be home and united with your family! And to have Abe in his permanent home with his brothers and you and Jeremy! Just remember that God allows these difficulties sometimes in our lives, these trials and pains, to refine us and bring something even greater out of the struggle. Offer the annoyance and the frustration and the pain and the weariness up to Him as a prayer, as a sacrifice and a gift. It is what you have to give, and He will receive it and renew you. He will give you the grace to get through it and be all the better for it, to His glory. Christ tells us, "I make all things new," and I know He does and he will.

Much love,
Lindsey