Nightmare – Miserable – Sick sick baby

I couldn’t decide which title would be the most appropriate for this post. Nightmare might be a little dramatic for the situation. As I lay on the hospital cot last night, I kept thinking . . where are we? What city? Are we really doing this? But as I realized that we are in fact in the hospital of our home town, it just seemed more real. Yesterday was miserable for me. That is the one word that kept coming to mind. Miserable for the 3 of us. Today won’t be much better. And so I will start from the beginning, while trying to keep this short and sweet for you readers.
2 weeks ago yesterday Holden began vomiting. Not spitting up, but projectile vomiting most of his meals. The doctor tried 2 formula switches and assumed reflux, as I think we all did. Thursday we went in for an Upper GI . . . just in case it was something else. And sure enough it was more. He has what is called pyloric stenosis. It is something that develops early in newborns, in those early weeks of life. I find it amazing that he spit up a total of 2 times in his first 4 weeks of life, and then began this awful vomiting. His pyloric sphincter is too tight and is not allowing food to properly flow through the digestive system. And so everything he eats comes back up . . . in full force. The only option is surgery. They will snip the muscle and he will be cured. That is the plan. It’s just a scary thought to put your 6 week old baby under anesthetics for a surgery. But I know people do it all the time. It just feels much different when it’s our little guy. Yesterday was rough as it took them 3 hours to get an IV into Holden. He was dehydrated and so the veins were even smaller than normal. It was a catch 22 – he needed fluids, but yet they couldn’t get fluids into him because they couldn’t get in the FREAKIN IV!! The nurses tried, poking him unsuccessfully about 5 times. Then the NICU nurses came in and tried with no success. And then they called on the big guns – the anesthesiologists. Still no success. They ended up having to take him into the OR and slightly put him under, to have him relax. They finally hit a vein in his left arm and it is completely wrapped and protected so that it doesn’t accidentally come out before surgery. We stayed in the room for over an hour while they poked and prodded. I looked out the window and cried, while Holden lay on the bed and cried. Sometimes he was fine, and such a strong baby boy. But other times, I know he was just in pain with all of the needles poking at him. When they went for a vein in the head, Jeremy couldn’t take anymore and they told us we should probably leave. It was an overwhelming day. I hated to see my baby out of sorts, hooked up to wires and now IV’s. They tell us that today will be the easy day, in comparison to yesterday. I am hopeful that the surgery will be quick and smooth. I am ready to have my happy baby back. He hasn’t had food in over 24 hours and you can tell he is hungry (when he is awake). But his pacifer seems to pacify well enough. Anyways, I know this is kind of rambly. And I know that isn’t a word. We haven’t had much sleep.
We would appreciate your prayers. This afternoon will not be fun. It’s trusting God all over again. And I KNOW His faithfulness. Holden is PROOF of his faithfulness. But this time it is just a little tougher. It’s no longer about us . . . there is precious little life involved that we are completely in love with. We just have to trust Him. He continually proves to us that his plan is so much sweeter than our own.