Friday the 13th

So I don't REALLY believe in Friday the 13th hogwash, but let me tell you about my day...so far.  Holden was supposedly doing his business in the upstairs bathroom once he had finished breakfast. I was still in the kitchen with my slow eating boy, Pax.  I do think he originally went upstairs to go to the bathroom and not cause mischief.  But then he saw the bath toys and his little mind got to working.  So I heard him trying to flush more than once and I yelled up the stairs that he only needed to do it once. Soon after, he ran down stairs and with big eyes, told me that "the potty is really big" and "the water is really big". That didn't sound good, so I ran upstairs to check out the scene. The water was close to the top but it had stopped rising. I asked if he had used alot of toiler paper. He said no but that he had put the rubber ducky in the toilet. There was no duck in sight. I was angry. And I lost it. He's 4, people!  Not a curious 2 year old anymore.  He was disciplined and I texted Jeremy to fill him in on the latest crime scene going on at our house. Jeremy informed me the plunger was in the garage. I've never used a plunger before.  Growing up, I had a daddy that did all disgusting jobs at our house. So I start plunging (aka - splashing toilet water around) and nothing was happening. So I flushed once and plunged again and here came the water. Rising. Rising. Rising quickly. Not stopping. I threw the rug and trash can outside of the bathroom onto the carpet.  And sure enough, water doesn't begin trickling out of the toilet, it's more like gushing. I ran downstairs in a panic to grab my phone and call my handy man, Jeremy. But I couldn't get him. I grabbed some old towels and was running back upstairs. Then I thought to twist that knob near the base of the toilet to turn the water off. Honestly, I know nothing about this stuff. So go ahead and laugh at my ignorance here and how long it took me to figure that one out. So there I found myself standing in about 1 inch of water. Toilet water. :( Jeremy quickly calls me back and I relay the saga. He tells me where the shop vac is and what I need to do. I clean the mess. Well, sort of. I sucked up all the toilet water and dried the tile with the towels. And I haven't returned to the space.

So, I know people feel like these blogs are just fairy tale portions of our lives for the world to read. I've heard this several times. We don't share all the real stuff.  I mean, who wants to read about that!  The dilemma is, I don't want to keep count of all the bad. I feel like I'm an optimistic person and I'm not going to dwell on the negative stuff. You wrong me? I'll get over it pretty quickly. My kids make mistakes every day, but I'm not keeping a talley on that. And I don't want any readers here to do that either. So I share the cute stories. The stories that attempt to share the love that goes on in our family.  There is so much love in this house. But if you want honesty, there is so much junk also. Constant discipline. Sibling fights. Lack of self control. Less than great parenting decisions. Parenting is hard work. And it's brought to the surface some characteristics in myself that I didn't realize were there. I saw some more of that ugliness this morning.  And honestly, I want the ugly to go away. Forever. The good news is the mercy and forgiveness just waiting for me when I ask. Holden is forgiven. He is loved more than his little heart and head can even fathom. I remember what he's done and the mess he's made but I love him just as much as before. God's love for me is even bigger. He's wiped my slate clean. Again. I failed today. But I'm grateful to be forgiven.

I'm off to enjoy some peace and quiet while the boys nap. Along with a side of homemade cinnamon icecream. Despite my lack of patience today for my sweet, playful, mischievous first born, I feel like I deserve an award just for being present.