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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

God is good all the time!

Oh that title makes me think of the song. And I do love that song! I honestly know this to be true. I mean, I know it deep within me. And sometimes it’s a hard truth for me to swallow. And then there are other times, when it is the only thing that can give me peace.

During months and months of infertility, I might have been a little bit of a basketcase. You can check with Jeremy on that one. Some days feeling so optimistic that God was in control and not me and not doctors. At times that was a huge source of encouragement. Then there were other days that I couldn’t figure out where I was or how to pray. I think I still struggle sometimes with how to pray. I want to walk so closely with Him, that the Holy Spirit directs me in how to pray. That I am not always just asking for my own desires or sending a generic prayer up such as, “let your will be done.” But that I am connecting with the Holy Spirit to pray for the things that He is laying on my heart. Jeremy and I have both been very convicted to pray for specifics and really seek God’s guidance in what our requests should be. It’s gets hairy and complicated sometimes, due to our humanness.

Sorry, I am getting way off subject here. I was really going to share the newest with us and this adoption stuff. So yesterday, I get off of work and turn on my cell and have a voicemail. It is from our social worker. The message sounds something like, “Melodie, I need to speak with you about your fingerprints . . . if you could give me a call back . . .” Well, she had already left the office when I returned the call and I was just going to have to sit overnight with that message . . .wondering what the deal was. So obviously, I knew there was an issue. Jeremy had not received a call, and so we assumed his fingerprints had come back fine. And I knew it wasn’t a problem with my background . . . unless of course someone found a way to steal my fingerprints. Which I think, I was almost hoping for last night. It seemed to be a better option than the alternative – flawed prints, which would mean another 6-8 weeks of waiting. We began praying for anything BUT flawed prints. And Jeremy specifically prayed for something that would not delay this process any further. We were completely praying for our own desires. We weren’t really sure how to pray, except in this way.

You see, this adoption process has gone quicker than I ever expected. I have just had this feeling that it has been happening quickly because there is a baby right around the corner for us. So when we received this voicemail last night, I have to say that I was discouraged. Still praying and trying to be hopeful, but definitely feeling a bit of defeat. Well, this morning I spoke with the social worker. She said that my prints had come back flawed BUT, OSBI would redo them at their office and rush them through the system. So the results should be back to the agency in 1 week. Wow! A huge sigh of relief. I even sigh again, as I type this. I am going today to have the fingerprints redone.

So back to the thought - God is good all the time. I think when things are going well, it is so easy to believe it. And then maybe you question when things aren’t just right. But I also know the sweetest times with my Jesus are when things have been hard. Those are the times when my need for him is greater than any ability or control on my part. The past year and a half He has taken us down a winding road that we didn’t plan to explore at this point in life. And it has been a sweet time of growth, stretching and learning to trust. And you know, I couldn’t have chosen a better road for myself. God is good all the time. I know it. I believe it. I will cling to it no matter what!


Allison said...

I know what you mean! God is good all the time! I know it first hand in my life too right now. Not only is God good all the time, but He is faithful all the time! What a wonderful relief that we don't have to be in control or know what the final plan is. (Most the time) I am content to know that HE knows! I am glad things worked out with the fingerprints. I will pray that they come back quickly and that the entire process continues quickly!

the thorntons said...

Thanks for your sweet words today...they were really encouraging to me! I'm amazed at your patience and your unwavering faith...especially when things are hard. I'm praying for you to receive an extra measure of peace as you have to wait, yet again!

Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

And this is only making you stronger. Thanks for your encouragement!