My second 10k.

Yesterday I ran the Cowtown 10k all by my lonesome. I tried to talk Jeremy and several friends (at several different times) into running with me. But no one was biting. So I just signed up and was determined to run alone. About a month ago I wasn't sure I could run it alone. When I ran my early morning runs with a friend, 5 miles became easy, even though we only ran about 2-3 miles together and then we would go our own separate way towards our own homes. The chit chat was a great distraction for me so I really enjoyed running with another person. But running with someone and being distracted by the conversation, proved to me that my body could do the mileage. It really was a mental thing...which is what my friend kept telling me. Yet, I kept insisting it had more today with my legs and my lungs. She was right and I was wrong. I can admit that now. My challenge was definitely more mental. And it still is at times. So Friday night Jeremy loaded up a Matt Chandler sermon for me and some of my favorite tunes onto my phone. I love a good conversation with a friend. But I've been realizing over the past few weeks that a deep, thought provoking message is a really good use of my time while running. Saturday morning while it was still dark, Jeremy, Holden, Pax and I headed to the race. Abe stayed home sleeping since my parents were visiting. The race was literally beginning as a I arrived at the start line. Obviously we didn't leave our house early enough. What else is new! So off I went in the huge mass of runners. And 1 hr and 5 minutes later I was crossing that same line. It felt good. It was a fun experience, even though I didn't know any of the other 3972 runners. That's right, there were 3972! I love the atmosphere and camaraderie of those races. And now {big gulp} I think I might be ready for a half marathon. Well, not physically ready. But I'm ready to line one up and start working towards that next goal.
I should mention that Holden has been so excited about this little race I was doing. He's run with me more than once. He loves to run, chase and race anyone that is willing. And he talks a big game. He thinks he's faster than his momma! So when the winner crossed the finish line at 33 minutes (or whatever crazy time it was!) Holden said loudly and in a frustrated manner, "Why did mommy lose?!!" Sweet boy really thought I was going to win that race. It took me 5 minutes to even make my way to the start line, yet he really though my face would be the first one he saw to cross the finish line. I think he might have a little bit of a competitive edge. :)
A few pictures from yesterday's 10k.

 With the finish line finally in sight...

They are smiling so great for this picture because i bribed them with a sip of my grape flavored Propel water I had gotten after finishing.

Engineering Week.

Last Tuesday at very late notice, Jeremy informed me that he was volunteering through work at the Children's Museum of Science and History that day. It was Engineering Week so there were lots of extras at the museum last week, including a flight simulator for the F-35. This is where Jeremy would be volunteering a few hours on Tuesday. He thought it would be cool for the boys to go so they could fly the simulator. I knew that would be cool for them, but I also saw it as a rare opportunity for the boys to see how Jeremy spends 40+ hours a week and some of the end results of his time and hard work. Jeremy has always worked in the area of Defense. In Oklahoma and now in Texas also. So because of security, the boys have never had the opportunity to visit him at work, see his office or really see the things that he does at work. So we jumped at this last minute opportunity to go and see. I got to watch Jeremy helping some other kids on the simulator. It was cool to see him in his element and expertise. Flying an F-35 is something that I have no clue about. And even looking at all the knobs and switches...it was all over my head. Jeremy would probably agree he has no clue about flying a jet either. But with the simulator, he looked like a pro. He came to this job feeling so behind four and a half years ago. But he is a smarty pants and an extremely hard worker. So he's made some amazing strides and I know he's a huge asset where he is right now. A few pictures from our afternoon with daddy.

The boys getting to "fly".

Mister Abe trying his best to push some buttons too. 

 

I loved this picture of Pax working on the huge "Lite Bright"

It was a good experience for the boys. And one that will probably be very rare. I'm thankful these last minute plans fell right into place and our flexible schedule allowed for it. 

So far in February...

We've had blistering cold days and some even filled with icey roads. But also wonderful 75ish spring-like days, such as those this past weekend and this week.

We've had some new pets. Ants! :) To go along with our schooling, we've had an ant farm in our kitchen. We've been fascinated at watching the constant work that they do. I think Jeremy and I have watched it more than the boys. The critters exited our home this morning. Well, they were escorted out.

Look at all the progress and tunnels they built in about a week and a half. Very impressive, those little biting ants. Actually these were the largest ants I've ever seen.

 

We celebrated my meme's 95th (!!!!) birthday. She found out that Abe liked the punch and she loved sharing her glass with him. Obviously, he loved it too.

The big boys decided to be little dare devils. Holden climbed his first big tree. Pax might become our little stunt man.

 

Pax was treated to a cookie the size of his face after he went in for allergy testing (which included poking all over his back). I don't want him to be called Sneezy McSneezerson his entire life. After several holistic attempts to cure his "allergies", I opted to do the testing. And he's been sneezing daily for about 4 years straight. No joke. But guess what, he doesn't really have bad allergies. Hmmmm. So I will start a little more research on the topic. I'm pretty sure I've done more scientific research in my last (almost) 6 years as a mommy than I ever did in 17 years of schooling.

Holden got a professional haircut with an adorable little fade. Jeremy always does their cuts. I think this is only his second time to go to an actual barber shop with men that know how to specifically cut and style his hair. Jeremy had been wanting to take him to a place that a friend from his work goes to regularly. He said Holden sat completely still the entire 30 minutes while the guy worked with precision on the many steps of this cut. I love it. But I don't see us paying $18 every month to keep it up.

This little guy continues to grow. His hair continue to grow. :) And he continues to fill us with joy.

 

It's been a fairly uneventful few weeks but a little busy all at the same time. If that even makes sense. And that is my catch up post for now.

Birthday Redo

Last Thursday Jeremy turned 34. Old man! He was awakened at 3:30am that day to me throwing up in our bathroom. After he came in the bathroom to check on me, he started to head off to the kitchen to get me a drink, but not before I hollered, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I may have been sick but I was still on my A game mentally...I hadn't forgotten his special day. ;) UNFORTUNATELY, I had decided I would do all his birthday planning and prep the day of.  In hindsight, that was not my smartest move. But I need to use Thursdays for errands while the big boys are at MDO. So on Jeremy's birthday, I never even made it out of bed. He had to take off of work. He took the boys to MDO. He took care of Abe. He got us some groceries and me some sick people food. He took care of everything, while I repeatedly apologized for his awful birthday. He just didn't care. He's not the type that NEEDS to feel celebrated. But I love to celebrate my family on their special days. So it was hard for me. Luckily I slept most of the day and didn't have a ton of time to ponder it. To make things worse, he ended up with the bug by Thursday night. There were a few hours that we both felt terrible. But by the next day, he was down for the count and I was a brand new woman.
Friday night I cooked his favorite dinner at home with his favorite mint chocolate cupcakes. It was his third year in a row to request them. By Saturday night food was starting to sound really good again. So the family enjoyed dinner at one of his favorites, BJ's. The poor guy had received no gifts from us. So after dinner, we stopped at a shoe store and Jeremy treated himself to two new pair of shoes. We also have a shopping date scheduled for Monday where he can spend more of his birthday money. I married a man that likes to shop, if he's got money to burn. Lucky me. :) But it was a weird birthday celebration over here. I hope we never have to repeat it. The only picture I took of our celebrations...

This was taken Friday night, after his sick day. Happy Birthday, babe! We love you more than you know. And alot more than we showed you on January 30th of this year.

the perfect mom.

A friend reminded me this week that there is no perfect mom. No perfect children. No perfect family. I hope I never paint a false picture here on the blog. Believe me when I say this...I don't have my act together. I have two main purposes for this blog. One is to show my kids their lives and our family in writing and photographs. And we regularly sit together with a computer in our lap and I read them stories of the past 5 years that I've documented here. The other is to be a place that their sweet birth mothers can stop in anytime when they want to see that face that they love so much. And they can catch up on our family events. I originally created this space for those ladies. We don't use facebook or any other social media. But the blog is one that I don't want to give up. I love it for our family. But I think our birth mothers appreciate it also. That being said, I never want to use this space as a way to document the not so fun parts of family life. I mean, I think I've hinted around enough here that my job has been hard at times. I sure did document the great flushing of the rubber ducky, which was a terrible day when it happened. But I read it now and laugh my head off. And we tell Holden what a little stinker he was when he was 2 and 3 and 4. :) And the time I tried to take two babies shopping at Hobby Lobby for home decor. That catastrophic event made it here. But I just never want to focus on the discipline and correction that takes place daily. This is our space to celebrate and focus on the wonderful parts of raising our boys and being a family.

So I don't have it all together. If you've spent any time around my family, you already know this to be true. In fact, you might get in your car after seeing us and think, "Whoa. That was chaotic. And loud." I'm normally late everywhere I go. I lose my temper with my sweet boys. I forget to respond to texts and emails. I forget my purse and end up at the grocery store parking lot with no money. Jeans and a hoodie make me feel dressed up on most days. I can come up with a great discipline measure 5 hours too late when I've had more time to process. But sometimes I'm not great in the moment that I need to be. I can't seem to simultaneously be a good, listening friend and a good intentional mom in the same moment. Someone is going to lose there. And since mom is my constant role and time with friends is rare, my kids are the losers in those moments. Though they might feel like the winners because I let some things slide. Call me inconsistent. I call it picking my battles. I think that I'm okay with that. I think...but I have those insecure moments. They rise up when I see a mom that's doing it all and doing it really well. And later as I process, I think, I suck. But then a dear friend reminds me that I don't. That I'm a good mommy, despite my mistakes or not following the strategies of the latest parenting book. She reminds me that I have a very limited view of the world around me. All I can really do is be present in my family. I can love my boys well...and I'm 100% certain that is consistent in our home. I can turn off my imagination that leads me to believe that other's lives are perfect and joyous all the time...even if it appears that way from the outside looking in. And I can pray my guts out that for another day God will fill me with his fruits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. That has been my prayer for several years before my feet ever hit the floor. And when I screw up, because by now I know that's inevitable, His grace will wash me clean again. Again and again. In the end, those are the things that will matter. That I tried, goofed up, repented and pressed on towards Him and the great task He has given me. Far from perfect over here but walking in a whole lot of grace. I'm thankful for that.

Things lately...

-On New Years Day I sat around the table with my little family. As we ate our traditional blacked eyed peas we talked about a fresh new year and things we wanted to accomplish in 2014. It was a fun conversation to have with a four and five year old. I know many people have negative opinions about new year's resolutions. But I can't help it. I love the start of a new year and looking forward to dreams you want to see happen in the next 12 months. So for my little boys to be listing things like: learn to tie shoes (both said this), learn to swim (Pax), learn to read (Holden), learn to ride my bike without training wheels (Pax)...it was just fun to listen to them dream and set very attainable goals for the coming months.
-We've had a weekend that may be tricking us that spring has arrived early. As much as I love each season (including a snowy/icey winter), this spring-like weather has been refreshing. The boys have played outdoors for the past two days. And because I tend to be a fair weather runner, that means I've run the past three days. Hopefully I'm gearing up for a 10k next month. I might jinx myself just saying that. On Friday evening I headed out alone to run. Holden was still eating dinner and begged to go with me. Back in the fall (you know, when the weather was perfect again for outdoor activities) Holden ran a mile with me. Barefoot. Never stopping to walk or rest. Crazy kid. He loves to run. He really loves to sprint and rest, sprint and rest. So I promised him on Friday evening that he could join me for a Saturday morning run. He was happy with that news. And Saturday around 10am we headed out on our run. He covered 2 miles of run/walking. We had spent a week in school some time ago, talking about the Tortoise and the Hare and what it means to persevere. He is definitely the hare. And I am the slow moving, yet steady speed tortoise. I lapped him more than once, yet in the end he made it back to our house first, so he says he won. :) Whatever. I think I'm going to finally have a running buddy in my future. And probably a very small window of time when he is finally able to go longer distances with me, and then before long I probably won't be able to keep up with him.

-We have completed semester one of homeschooling Kindergarten and Pre-K. We took a break during the Christmas holidays and it was definitely a challenge to get back to it last week. But once we did day one, we all remembered how much we enjoyed our school time together. It has been a wonderful experience. I've been a little surprised at how much I've enjoyed it.

-Saturday night we went to 4 Day Weekend with some friends. Man, oh man. That place makes me laugh so much. Then I think about different lines of comedy for days after, and I catch myself laughing at them all over again.

-The boys received several games for Christmas this year. Sorry, Trouble, Twister, Tic-Tac-Toe, Tumblin' Monkeys and Connect 4. And they are finally at an age where we can play fun games as a family. Games that require a little more thought than Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders. We have been HOOKED on Sorry. It's my current favorite. And Pax asks if we can play games every single day! He's so much like me it's crazy! :)

-A couple of months ago we booked a summer beach vacation. I've got four months to wait for it to arrive, but I think about it each week. And ever so often, I get on the computer and look at pictures of our destination. Pax and Abe have never been to the beach. And Holden hasn't been to one since here when he was only 15 months old. And it's been a good year and a half since Jeremy and I have been to the beach. So in a short four months, we'll be driving to Gulf Shores, AL and living like a family of beach bums for six days. We are excited for a family trip. It's been a while.

Happy Adoption Day, Sweet Abe!

Eight months ago today, we met our sweet baby boy. And this morning we had the privilege to stand before a judge and finalize his adoption. I've explained this before with the other boys, but it was eight months ago that he became our son and we immediately fell in love. Today it just became legal and official that we are his forever family. My dad and I were just talking tonight...we've heard two pastors explain a little detail in adoption when emphasizing the power of our adoption by our Heavenly Father. I thought I'd explain because it's just a really cool thought. A parent can disown their biological child. But a parent can not legally disown their adopted child. That is cool because of the spiritual parallel and that we can never be cut apart from God once we have accepted Christ as forgiveness for our sins, chosen to follow God and have become a child of His. But this fact is also cool from our end as an adoptive family...there is strength and commitment in our family bond and legally it can not be bent. I love this.
Last night we drove to Oklahoma City with my parents. All seven of us in our minivan. It was tight. We got to bed late at a hotel and woke early this morning (I was the first up in our room at 6am) to get ready for our Adoption Day in court. After our hearing, we had lunch as a family and then headed to a friend's house to have a little celebration. You may remember I had two sweet friends that housed Abe and I for a good portion of our stay in Oklahoma. Well, Daysha opened her home once again for our little party. She even got balloons! :) And Andrea and Abigail came and celebrated with us. Two sweet friends that have stuck close after leaving Oklahoma City over four years ago. I'm very thankful for friends that stick. So we partied it up with Abe and celebrated another miracle in our lives. Abe Malachi, you are our blessing. You are such a sweet and fun part to our family. All four of us are crazy about you for so many reasons. God has blessed us with the addition of YOU, my son. I pray that you grow up to truly comprehend the way God used you to increase our prayers, increase our faith and have our hearts spilling over with love and thankfulness. What a privilege it is to be your mommy, forever!
Excuse the massive amounts of pictures. My dad took a ton. I loved them all and I'm sharing many of them. Probably too many of them.

 

 

Killing time and having a little freedom while we were waiting our turn to go into the courtroom.

 Nana with the proud big brothers.

 

Family of five!

Hooray!

 

Sweet open mouthed kisses.

 

 

 

 

Lunch at one of our favorite Oklahoma chains...City Bites!

 

 

Cheeser.

 

 

It's a tradition. He had to wear the shirt.

The cookie cake said: "Happy Adoption Day Abe!" I forgot and sliced it before taking a picture. Oops.

 

 Sweet little friends.

 I was SO excited to give him his sock monkey. It's our adoption gift tradition. I've been holding onto it for several weeks. Holden got the original brown one on his Adoption Day when he was 6 months old. Holden and his monkey, who is named "Monkey" are inseparable. In fact, he had to be replaced because his original was so worn out. See here. Pax has a blue one, who is named "Blueberry". But he has no great attachment to it...or any stuffed animal friends. And Abe has picked up Holden's monkey several times in the last few months, checked it out, put it in his mouth, etc...when this would happen, Holden would quickly and kindly take the monkey away and move it to higher ground where baby brother couldn't reach it. :)

I have a feeling Abe is going to love his little yellow monkey. He is sleeping with it now, with a little encouragement from me. :)

 Our little boy finally wiped out from the festivities. I'm glad Papa J got in for a picture. He was doing all the picture taking today.

Daysha and I. I didn't think to get a picture with my friends until Andrea had already left.

It was a special day of celebration for our little Abester!