Priscilla Shirer

This morning at church Priscilla Shirer sat across the aisle from us and a few rows back. I may have gotten a little starstruck when she was introduced and I first noticed her. I wanted to run up to her after the service, get a picture with my phone and tell her my story and how God had used her work in my journey. I didn't do any of that. Not my personality AT ALL. You see, Priscilla and I go way back even though she doesn't know it. During Jeremy and I's somewhat short struggle of infertility, my former church did a Bible study that Shirer wrote called, He Speaks to Me. At the time, I was working full-time and chose not to participate in the group study. But if I'm being completely honest, me choosing not to participate probably had more to do with not wanting to open myself up to others with what was going on in our lives. But since I'm all about a good read, I did order the book and decided to read it on my own. At that point, I knew that we were facing the beginning of a trial. Trials are never fun, but if I was going to walk through one, I wanted it to be purposeful. In my simple mind, there was no need to endure a pointless, difficult journey. If God was about to walk us through a valley, I wanted to come out more like Jesus on the other side. I wanted to learn from it and grow closer to him through it. My heart was filled with questions for God on why MY plans weren't working out, but I earnestly wanted to trust him and his plans for us. And I wanted to hear his voice and the directions he had for us in building our family. I loved that book! And God used it to help prepare my heart and unclog my ears so that I could hear his voice. So only months later, when we started the adoption process and God told us to pray for April, I actually heard his voice. At that point in the journey, I felt like I hadn't heard from him. It wasn't that he felt distant. It wasn't that at all. I felt him with us the entire time and I had great faith in that. But I felt my prayers had gone nowhere. Looking back on it, I think that I felt his presence, but he still seemed silent to me. Now do you see why my heart went pitter patter when I saw her face just a short distance from me today?

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1