All About Abe (+ a tiny update)

It seems as though there is a lot of nothing going on with our process right now. I am beyond frustrated. But instead of venting here again, I'll fill you in on our sweet little babe. A very gracious God blessed us with this sweet boy. So it only makes sense to trust Him with the rest of it. He is in control. Not everyone else. I keep reminding myself of this simple truth.

-So a little about our sweet baby boy. He has an amazing smile and I see it constantly. His beautiful full lips completely thin out when he shares his biggest grins.
-He loves to stand in our laps. He holds onto our hands and pulls himself up with those big muscles. Up. Down. Up. Down. He loves this little game. He also loves standing and bouncing on our laps. I've requested that Jeremy set up the Jumperoo before we get to bring Abe home. I think he'll love it.
-Today, May 29th, at almost 6 months, he rolled from front to back twice in a row. For the past week, I knew he could do it by the way he was pushing up on his feet into almost the push up position. I think he enjoys tummy time so much he just wasn't interested in rolling.
-He LOVES his baby cereal. He is my first baby that loves this stuff. Sometimes I can't shovel it into his mouth fast enough. And he's quickly become a fairly neat eater. Daddy will be proud. :) I've been holding off on starting fruits and veggies. I wanted to wait until we were home so I could start making it, as I did with the boys. That would be my ideal preference. By the way he loves this bland cereal, I  can only imagine he will love the fresh purees that are hopefully in his near future.
-Last week I bumped the big boy up to size 4 diapers. He was constantly leaking in size 3 and the larger size seemed to take care of the issue. He is wearing 9 months (probably not too much longer) and also 6-12 month clothes.
-He will hardly sleep in a pack-n-play. I mean, who can blame him. They are pretty solid and stiff. But he sleeps well on a regular bed. He even naps on a regular bed very well when I'm in another room. I'm hoping that eventually his new crib will meet his sleeping standards. :)
-At night he seems to be going about 6 hours between feedings. I know that is nothing to brag about, but I'm just documenting for the sake of remembering. He is about the size of Holden at this age. I still haven't weighed him so that's me eyeballing it, whatever that is worth. But holden was taking 8+oz 4 times a day before he was 4 months. Abe is only able to handle about 5-6oz at a feeding. And he's getting about 6 feedings a day still, with the extra 2 at nighttime. I'll work on it once we get settled at home. I'm thinking that if I can squeeze in some extra ounces during the day (without over-feeding him) then maybe those night stretches with lengthen. We'll see. As I've said before, it's a whole other ball game this time around. But I don't mind feeding him at midnight and then again at 6am (not that those times are always consistent by any means). For now, he and I sleep in until around 9am. Sometimes even 10am!! I know those days are coming to an end. And I don't care. I'm so so eager to have my family together. I really do ache for my big boys when I think about the time I'm missing out on with them.
So please continue to pray for us. That these people we are working with would be gracious and compassionate towards us. That they would expedite things, considering our situation and being out of state with our family in different places. I've been pleading with God to release us to go home. But just today I was thinking how I need to also be praying for those that have their hands on our file. That they would work quickly with our best interest in mind. That we could be a top priority right now. That they would take the necessary steps for approval but not create a bunch of extra hoops for us to jump through. Which is how it is feeling right now. See, I did end up venting after all. We covet all prayers because we know that He is in control and we firmly believe prayer can change things. Thank you friends.

A few thoughts...

I was gifted this incredible devotional for my birthday. I find it no coicidence that the reoccurring themes that seem to stick out are thankfulness and embracing the moments, rather than rushing through to the next phase. Believe me, lately rushing ahead has been my goal. Until this weekend as I started noticing all of the different ways Abe is changing and progressing. Goodness, I don't want Jeremy to keep missing out! This afternoon I read from my devotional: God is always good and we are always loved...even when what He gives may appear ugly. I do realize that my situation isn't terrible-horrible. But I have recently had the thoughts of how this isn't ideal for Abe either. He had already been through some traumatic changes with our new family and now we are moving from place to place, encountering different people at each one. New homes, new faces, new beds. And added to that is the absence of his new  daddy and brothers. Not a big deal in my mind if he were 3 weeks old. But I consider it more since he's coming up on 6 months. And I just wonder how his little mind takes it all in ~ all of the change that has happened for him in these 3 short weeks. But the devotional talked a little more about how these uglies can actually be beautiful if we ponder it a little longer, opening our hearts to the good inside the messy. So after reading this, I curled up on the bed next to my sleeping baby and I decided to finally start seeing the beauty in our mess.

- I've had a whole lot of time with just Abe. I'm sure 3rd children don't typically get the constant one on one time that he and I have shared recently. For the past 5 days no one else has needed my assistance or attention. He has had it all. And even though this won't be the reality of our lives once we are home, maybe it's exactly what Abe and I need for right now. I can be thankful for this time that the two of us have had to bond. It has been filled with countless special moments.

- Today I thanked God for a husband that I adore and that I deeply miss right now. I'm grateful he's worth missing. I thanked God for my two little boys at home that I love to share my days with. How joyful it is that I'm aching to see them rather than desiring the time away.

- I'm thankful for friends that take me into their own family without hesitation. Serve me meals, shuffle around their kid's space so that Abe and I have our own room and cry with me when I'm missing all of my boys. Compassionate, sweet friends are a blessing indeed.

- I'm grateful that we are a family of 5!!!!! It was one of my desires for 2013 to add another little one to our family. And what a sweet blessing baby Abe is! I'm so so thankful God gave him to us. Reading through my journal this week I came across one from April 11, just last month, where I told God I was feeling an ache for baby #3. I even mentioned that I wondered if that ache was because my baby was already on this earth. Whoa - My baby was here! I love that I have that journal entry in writing.

Nothing about this situation is ideal for me or Abe or my family waiting for us at home. And I do still request prayers that we can be cleared to leave this week. But at least for today, I'm glad that I was gently reminded to be thankful and to enjoy these moments that have been given to me.

the wait continues...

Today I've been in Oklahoma for 17 days. And honestly, I probably have at least one more week. At least. On Thursday I did cross the Red River and had fingerprints redone. A two-and-a-half hour drive one way for a 5 minute project. But a very important project if I ever want to get home. So I made the drive alone (since mister Abe is forbidden to cross that Red River for now), had the prints, made a Sonic lunch stop for cheddar peppers with ranch and vanilla Diet DrPepper easy ice (lots of healthy eats these days!) and back on the road for that two-and-a-half hour drive again. It was fast and furious. Abe stayed with my sweet friend while I was gone. A friend that attempted to keep him asleep during his last nap in her arms, as I was almost back to their house. She wanted it to be my face he woke up to, which is something I've been very purposeful about in the last 2+ weeks. It didn't work out, but was an incredibly sweet effort on her part. One that I wasn't expecting and for sure not requesting. He and I have been glued to one another since meeting and I really didn't want to leave him. But I had no choice. I'm glad it's another task completed. If you've been praying for us, you can now pray for speedy processing to get us home. For processing time, we've heard anywhere from 72 hours to 3 weeks to 6 weeks and anything in between. 72 hours is about the only estimate I can swallow right now. I can't even toy with those other numbers at this point. I know my sweet husband will be making phone calls and trying to track things and move this little process along to get us home as soon as possible.

Abe and I have had a good few days at our friend's home. I feel like when he wakes in the night, he looks around and studies his surroundings. Probably wondering where in the heck he is now. He is typically in bed curled up to me. And I hope he finds comfort in my consistent face that he is constantly seeing. But his location has been changing since he came to us. I keep thinking how this little guy in my family doesn't yet know his home. And maybe family is a bit fuzzy in his mind, because of the different faces he is surrounded by and that seem to change every few days (other than mine of course). But I constantly have to push those thoughts aside knowing that normal will be here soon and in time he will know home and know family. And we'll make certain he knows the permanence of both of those things, deeply.

My big boys made it home to daddy yesterday! That makes me happy. There is a large part of me that wishes they were coming to Oklahoma and joining us for the long weekend. But I do think that after two-and-a-half weeks of being everywhere else, home with daddy is a perfect place for them right now. I can imagine that they'll get to do lots of bike riding, dump truck pushing, dirt digging and other outside fun. I don't want them to have to climb back into their car seats and make another road trip, but kissing their faces would do wonders for me right now. I know it's only been a few days. It's just the lingering thought of not knowing how many more days like this are ahead. I'm a family girl! I was the little girl that never wanted to go spend a week at the grandparents during the summertime because I would miss my parents in a terrible way. And this same girl just doesn't enjoy this separation from her family now. Not only do I not enjoy it, but it makes me ache quite a bit.

Holden and Pax had a great time with the Myers these past few days. Their time was filled at the park, swimming, ChickFilA, having snow cones, dressing up like princesses ;) and so much more. I know those days were a fun distraction and you can't really know how much I appreciated the time and effort spent on my boys. So special. And Amanda included me the entire time by texting pictures of each event. A beautiful friend! She even dropped my boys off at home with a homemade dinner for them all. How she had time and energy for that, I have no idea.

Through the frustrations of this situation and the missing of my family, I've felt very loved. Time and time again by people surrounding me, friends from home and even some bloggy friends that I've never met in person. My boys have felt loved which cheers my heart since I can not be with them now. Keep praying for us. I'm missing my other three like CRAZY and hoping to gather us all in one place again very soon!!

not much progress.

Well, here we sit in this blasted hotel room. And it's been no vacation. The past two days I've done a lot of crying as my plans and prayers felt like they crumbled in front of me. I even lost my right contact through all my tears yesterday. No joke. I seriously cried it out of my eye. Our paperwork did not go through the system as smoothly as we hoped. So it looks like we will be getting fingerprinted again, as the last time they were not processed correctly. That's the nutshell version. I'm learning that out of state adoptions are just a little more complicated and there is no way around it. The good news is that Abe and I are riding out this wait together. The hardest part was saying goodbye to my big boys tonight. My eyes tear up just typing that. Being their momma is hard work and exhausting. But when it comes down to it, it's my favorite job in the world. And I miss my boys when I can't be with them. But after 10 full days in a hotel, they needed out. They are spending the next 3 days and nights with our BFFs who begged to love us in the most amazing way, by caring for our boys for a few days. These friends are more like family and I'm so so grateful for their persistence to help and love in a very needed way. Jeremy and I have a really hard time asking for help. So our sweet friends gently pushed and called and texted and begged to help us in this way.The boys were thrilled to go and spend a few nights with Josh and Amanda and their little friends Camryn and Reid. But I cried and cried and cried about it...not really knowing when I'll see them next. And also letting go of that desire to keep my little family all together as we transitioned from 4 to 5. Life in a hotel was hard for us...but also financially we just couldn't keep doing it. So tomorrow Abe and I will head to a friend's house and continue our wait there. I have 2 wonderful friends in Oklahoma that are also loving us well by letting us crash at their homes for an uncertain amount of time. I'm hoping we don't wear out our welcome.

I've struggled today with remembering that God is in all things. And just remembering Him. Period. I've been very self focussed, for probably the last week. And today as Jeremy and I took call after call and our outcome continually got worse, it was easier to feel my own pity and wallow around in it, than to take it to God. My sweet friend that is caring for my boys this week has burned up my texts with scripture from the moment we learned about our son. That has been a huge encouragement and always a timely reminder. My sister, today, reminded me of the manna and to be present and have peace in today instead of worrying about tomorrow and wondering if I'll still be waiting here in 3 weeks. A good reminder. It's funny that two weeks ago I would have told you that trusting God comes easily for me. But I'm still not sure where this little struggle puts me with that thought. If I took the time to lay out all the details you would see how almost everything that could have gone wrong, pretty much did. When I prayed a very specific way, the door would close, making our goal even further away. At one point Jeremy and I both had to stop and laugh because it was becoming so ridiculous. I should clarify that I do trust God. I think I truly do. But this little journey has just made me ask the question why a whole lot.

So here we are waiting. Still waiting. Not together as our family of 5, as I intended. But Abe and I in Oklahoma waiting on some green lights. Jeremy at work while being pulled in 10 other directions. And Holden and Pax having a mini vacay just over an hour from home. Not what I planned as we drove north as a family two weeks ago today. But it's what we have to work with. This may all seem like petty complaints and whining. Especially when just an hour north of where I am tonight people are dealing with the remains of vicious tornados. They have more rights for the "why's" than I do, if I want to compare trials. In the back of my mind I know that. I'm just ready for home and my complete family and our normal life again.

Thank you for so many that have been praying for us through this. For your texts, emails and phone calls. Thank you for offering to help. Occupying our big boys during this chaotic time for us. Opening your home to us. Loaning Jeremy a car since his truck won't carry both Holden and Pax. Asking me for pictures of our sweet Abe. Aunt Amy has requested a picture every single day. :) Listening to me cry and vent over the phone. The sweet gifts you given to our baby boy. I know I may be forgetting things. But we've felt very loved and supported. So thank you.

Still waiting...

For those that care, we are still in Oklahoma. Jeremy slipped into our bed at the hotel around 1:30am Friday. He had worked a very long day on Thursday and then came to be with us. Things are just 100 times easier and better when he is here. So he has been here all weekend and I'm dreading him leaving tomorrow night. Dreading it. Even if the hotel had a greenbelt or something where the big boys could run off some energy, that would help. But our location isn't set up that way. And I'm new to this mommy of 3 thing...so on my own in the hotel is just a little hard. Sorry if that sounds whiney. We left home 10 days ago and I'm just more than ready for our return. And getting Abe on any kind of schedule doesn't even seem realistic until we are home. Our big boys have a pretty consistent routine and schedule and even theirs has gone out the window. So our agency tells us it would probably be Tuesday or Wednesday at the earliest that we would leave. That is just a guess as it is out of their hands at this point. But I'm begging and pleading with God for Monday.

On another note, Abe is doing just amazing. We are bonded. Though I will admit to having bonded in less than 24 hours with him. He has become such an immediate and permanent piece to our family. So sweet, laid back, full of smiles and loving to be cuddled. His naps are sporadic, inconsistent and short. Sometimes he naps in our arms and other times in the pack-n-play. But it's usually a cat nap, 45 minutes at the very longest. He sleeps fairly well at night...he goes about 7 hours without a feeding. But that is often inconsistent as well. What he does one night guarantees nothing for the next. We definitely used sleep training for Holden and Pax and they were both sleeping a solid 12 hours at night by 4 months. Holden was doing this by 3 months. But I just don't think that will be an option for us with Abe. At least not any time soon. Coming to us at 5 months, sleep is at the bottom of the totem pole in our minds. But he is pure sweetness and feeding him at 5:30am (or whatever obscene hour) always puts a smile on my face. Even if my eyes are half closed. Daily these thoughts have been running through my head: What a priviledge that it's me. I am now the mommy that can comfort him the best. That can settle him during a restless night . The voice he now turns his head towards. That will be his biggest cheerleader as he grows and changes in the many years to come. I missed his first 5 months, but what a privilege that I get to share his future. He is quite the gift!

An Adoption Update

I will make this short and sweet. "Free time" is more precious than ever these days. Yesterday our family had the priviledge to meet our little guy's birth mother. We love T, just as we do K and M. She did go to court yesterday to relinquish her rights. So we are one step closer to going home. We had a good visit with her and got some sweet pictures of she and Abe to share with him as he grows. Our agency has informed us that all of our paperwork should be in the right hands by Friday - so they can start going through it to clear us to cross state lines. They are optimistically guesstimating that maybe we could be going home as early as Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. But since I like to shoot for the stars, I've been asking for prayers that they could review our file once received on Friday, find no issues or missing information and approve us the same day...putting us home for a nice weekend together. God has done some amazing things through this journey, so I believe it's possible. Life in a hotel with 2 energetic little boys is hard. And we decided to not stay in the metro so Jeremy would have an easier commute. Half the week he is working his tail off, putting in at least 40 hours.(Just Monday and Tuesday he worked 30!!! He did that for his family. He's incredible and I know it.) And the other half of the week he is staying with us. My mom stayed here with me Sunday night through Wednesday and that was a great help. But anyways, we are in a small town closer to the border for less of a commute for him. In hindsight that wasn't our best decision for my sanity and even more so for the boys. So that is part of my rush to get home. We went to WalMart one day for entertainment. And I hate WalMart, so that has to tell you something.
Abe seems to be adjusting well. Jeremy and I both agreed that he had a hard time remembering daddy yesterday after not seeing him since Sunday. Just another reason our family needs to be home. But he is full of smiles and genuinely seems to be such a happy, laid back guy. I praise God daily for his joyful spirit despites the changes he has faced recently. I'll post more of his adorable pictures once we are home and settled.
Feel free to pray for another miracle with us...that we could be on the road to Texas tomorrow! Thank you friends!

Pictures...

Since Melodie can't (easily) upload pictures for your viewing pleasure, she asked me, Jeremy, to put some on the blog.  So, here they are.

The day we became a family of 5!

 

He's got an awesome smile.

Indoctrinating Abe into the book club.

First bite of cereal.

More please.

Big brother reading to Abe.

Mommy adoring her new son.

Big brother and bigger brother playing peek-a-boo.

Proud mommy.

The only Mother's Day pic we could muster.

Introducing Abe

Yesterday at noon we picked up our sweet boy. We arrived to the agency a little early. So we sat down to try and plow through paperwork before he arrived to us. As soon as we got started on the paperwork, they walked in with Abe. His sweet caregiver immediately handed him off to me without any words and left the room. Sweet, sweet gesture to give us that first moment with him. And I fell to pieces. I wasn't expecting that. But I just lost it and became really emotional. I've missed that boy these past 5 months and I didn't even know I was missing him.
We had been talking about the name Abraham for a boy for the past couple of months, with full intentions to call him Abe. Then when we found out his birthmother had named him Malachi, we immediately loved it. Then seeing his picture and seeing he looked very much like a Malachi, we were hesitant to change it. But the bigger part of me wanted to give him his first name, as we've done with Holden and Pax. On our drive to Oklahoma yesterday morning I was trying to get Jeremy to talk about it. It felt like he was leaning towards keeping Malachi as the first name. Then he told me he had been remembering that morning, that on Monday night (the day we had found out about him) the boy's Bible story that Jeremy read to them was about Abraham and Sarah. I remember hearing him read it to the boys and I was thinking, how appropriate. The story was about Abraham and Sarah trusting God to provide them with a child. And that particular night I was waiting to hear back from the agency. So I remember thinking how God was gently reminding me to wait for Him. Jeremy said that on Tuesday (once we knew this baby was ours), the following story was on Abraham again. It was good clarity to Jeremy to give him our chosen name, Abraham. So he is Abraham Malachi and we are calling him Abe.
He is a big ole boy! Already in 6-9month clothing at 5 months old. He has the biggest thighs! He is a happy and laid back personality right now. We are doing lots of holding, snuggling and making up for lost time. He slept with me most of the night, last night. I just want him to quickly learn who mommy and daddy are. I am fully bonded to him and completely in love. But I know that will take a little longer for him. This shuffling of his life has to leave him confused, among other things. And that is a little heartbreaking to me.
I want to ask for a few prayer requests when and if you're thinking of us.
-Pray for Abe and this transition. That he would trust us. That he would feel safe and know that we are here FOREVER.
-T, his birthmother will relinquish rights on May 21st. Pray for her heart as she makes this final and permanent decision. I am not really concerned about this step of the process. I do not feel like she will be changing her mind. But my Bible study leader told me last night that she has begun praying that miraculously we would get an earlier court date to accomplish this. Honestly, that would be a huge miracle by God. But hey, however the Spirit leads you! These words from her were so encouraging. The reason she is praying for this is because we are stuck in Oklahoma through this court date. And then some. After relinquishment, more paperwork has to be completed in both Texas and Oklahoma before we are able to take him across state lines. We are staying with friends thru Sunday and then off to a hotel until we are released to leave the state.
-So please pray for a speedy process so we can get back home into our normal routine. Jeremy will be doing a lot of back and forth during this time. My mom will be up here with me some.
-Pray for Holden and Pax. Day 1 went very well. They have been awesome and sweet big brothers. I can only hope that it continues to go so smoothly.
I know that I'm probably missing some major details here. But that's about all I have time for right now. And I don't know how much updating I'll be doing from Oklahoma. Thank you for your prayers, support and rejoicing with us in our newest blessing!
At this point I can not upload pictures to the blog. I'm devastated. :( Ha. He's amazing and such a cutie!

**Update. I just received a call from our agency. Relinquishment court date has been moved forward to May 15th. God is all over this adoption and we are so thankful to get to experience His hand at work. Why am I always floored when he pours out his blessings and miracles on us?! Thank you God!

oh boy ~ oh boy ~ oh boy!

You notice the repeated words three times? Well, it's because we have ANOTHER baby boy! Oh my goodness. Three little boys. Three little brothers. Wow!
We found out about the possibility of him yesterday. Which ironically is the same day we found out about the possibility of Holden in 2008! To the exact date....May 6th. Isn't that crazy!? Also, a long time friend texted me on February 25th and told me about this dream that she had. In her dream we had adopted a 4 month old baby boy, named Adam. I told her how crazy that was since we were doing a newborn adoption program. Well, our little boy is 5 months old. So yesterday, when I knew our family might be a possibility for this little guy, I remembered her telling me about that dream. He was born on December 2nd. He was named Malachi, which we really love. We may be moving Malachi to his middle name...or we may keep it as his first. We are having a tough time deciding on that. And I'm missing a whole lot of information right now. I will share some of what I know. He is 5 months old, but outgrowing his 3-6month clothes. Another big boy on our hands. Apparently, he is a happy little guy, full of smiles and personality. He's cute. :) Check out the recent pictures below.
Tomorrow we will head to Oklahoma to take him in our arms and be his forever family! And I just can't wait to get my hands on him. I've been through many emotions today. So thankful. So so thankful for God's good plans and that He can always be trusted. I love how He speaks to us through circumstances and guides us so gently to His plans for us. But honestly, I've been deeply sad at different points in my day that I've missed 5 whole months of my baby's life. That has been a hard thought for me for many reasons. And that is one of the reasons we are not delaying this trip by another day. I'm already worrying for my new little one and this recent shuffling in his life. Pray for him as he makes this transition to our family. That he could quickly learn who mommy and daddy are and attach to us well. We will be doing everything we know to make it a wonderful and easy transition for him. And here is our newest, sweet little love!

 And I did go on a little shopping trip tonight for my sweet baby boy! Honestly, it really was good retail therapy. It made me even more excited to welcome him home. I bought mostly necessities: diapers, wipes, bath soap, lotion, new pacis and a bottle brush. And then a few extras: a few new outfits and a cute little puppy taggie handheld blanket. I know he has two older brother now, but not everything can be a handmedown just because he is #3! :)

our weekend.

This weekend has gone nothing like I was imagining. We scheduled Holden's party for Saturday at 5pm. It was going to be so cute. We had decided on a camp out theme, though no friends were staying overnight or anything like that. We were going to set up our tent in the backyard, and pretend camp out with roasting hot dogs, smores and the works. Friday evening Jeremy worked hard on the backyard. A lot of little things needed to get done, and he did it! I worked on the inside and made a good 3 dozen cupcakes. Saturday morning Holden woke up extremely whiney and irritable. I thought he was just being moody. :( But then I soon noticed his rapid breathing. It reminded me of back in December when he had pneumonia. So we quickly made our way to a local Care Now facility. After breathing treatments, oxygen tests and x-rays they decided to treat him for pneumonia...though it didn't look like typical pneumonia from the x-rays. I really don't like the guessing game doctors often have to play. But when we're talking about labored breathing, I really don't want to mess around and I just have to leave it to the doctors. So they sent us home with albuterol for his nebulizer and antibiotics. Oh and nausea meds that I never had him use. He vomitted twice. Once at the Care Now and once in the car on the drive home. Poor guy. And so, just like that, the fun little birthday party was cancelled. Holden came home and slept until after 6pm and was a brand new boy after the long nap. I started figuring in my head how I could do a small playdate type birthday party on Monday morning. I had all the cupcakes sitting in my fridge that I really didn't want to go to waste. And we have enough hot dogs so serve a small army since Jeremy insisted I buy enough to feed each adult two. :)

We woke this morning to Pax coughing. Sometimes he sounds like he's been smoking a pack a day for his entire life. So this cough tends to come and go with allergies. Sadly, it's become somewhat normal for him. I've got to get a handle on his allergies. They are absolutely out of control and getting worse, it seems. So this morning I left all the boys at home and went to church to teach our little class of 4 year olds and then back home. I didn't stay for the actual church service. I grabbed a few groceries before heading home. And when I walked in the door, Pax was lying on the floor, looking super sad and wasn't saying words but just making whiney noises. I picked him up and he was very hot. The more closely I watched, I noticed the labored breathing. And 20 minutes later it had gotten much worse. So off he and I went to Care Now. His breathing really scared me. It was much worse than Holden's. I was asking him to talk to me the entire way there (it was just a 5 mintue drive) because he was acting so lethargic. Care Now was great to take us back immediately because of the breathing difficulties and the seriousness of it all. After several hours, his diagnosis was similar to Holden's and he is being treated the same way, plus an oral steroid for 5 days. His oxygen levels were pretty low most of the time that they were monitored. Yesterday with Holden they told me they hospitalize when it's at 92%. Holden's oxygen level never went lower than 95%. Pax's was consistenly staying around 90-92%. I was texting friends and family and asking for prayers. Thank you guys for praying for my little guy. And I had texted Jeremy and asked him to start packing a hospital bag for Pax. I just knew we were headed that direction. He just wasn't showing any signs of improvement no matter what they did. Eventually he was given two different injections and 20 mintues later he was finally showing signs of improvement. He is now home resting. I've been advised to keep a very close eye on him as breathing difficulties can take sharp turns quickly. So my little buddy will probably be snuggling close by me in bed tonight, just as Holden did last night. We would really appreciate your prayers for his continued recovery. He sort of scared this mommy today.

Holden's little playdate birthday party will not be taking place tomorrow. I think my little boys need some rest. And I'm almost certain they are contagious because how else did Pax come down with the same symptoms the very next day. (I was told yesterday that Holden would not be contagious.) But I'm not sure what we are going to do about this birthday. It was going to be his last big party, so I don't think I can just let this one slip by and not celebrate with some friends. That thought makes me a little sad. We must have some sort of party once the boys are healthy!

As for me, I've spent many hours over the past 2 days getting to know the weekend staff at our local Care Now. They were nice and all, but not who I wanted to spend my weekend with. ;) But today is Cinco de Mayo and that is a reason to celebrate. Queso is in my crockpot. The healthy kind: velvetta cheese, spicy ground sausage and rotel tomatoes. ;) So once my sick little boys are in bed tonight, I think I'll be chowing down on chips, queso and a margarita made by my favorite bartender, Jeremy.

He's 5!

Today my little boy turned 5!!

We had a fun day at home. My parents were here for part of the day because they will have to miss his little party on Saturday. So they celebrated with us yesterday and today. Surprisingly, he was still in bed asleep at 7:15 this morning. Typically, he is our early riser. Jeremy and I quietly snuck into his room and woke him, while leaving Pax in bed to sleep later. Holden crawled into my arms from the top bunk, wrapped his super long legs around my waist, laid his head on my shoulder and allowed me to carry him downstairs. As we were walking I asked if he knew why we gotten him out of bed. His sleepy response was, "because it's my birthday!" He knew exactly what he was waking up to this morning! We set him on the kitchen counter and immediately began singing to him Happy Birthday. He never made eye contact and instead made silly faces throughout the song as though he was embarrassed by all the attention.

During breakfast, I asked what he might like to do today. I suggested riding bikes or going to the park. But he asked if he could play in the sprinkler today. At the time, it was overcast, maybe close to 60 degrees. But I knew it was supposed to warm up later, so I promised we could do some sprinkler time once the sun came out. So he took that information and went upstairs to put his swim shorts on. :) We spent the morning swinging in the backyard, riding bikes, watching the Lion King and reading lots of library books. After the boy's afternoon naps it was warm and sunny, so Holden was able to play in the water for almost 2 hours.

Jeremy grilled burgers for dinner, which was Holden's request. Then since he is taking his special cupcakes to school tomorrow, we had this healthy fruit pizza for his dessert. I thought he might be bummed about not having cake, but he loved this stuff and really didn't care that it wasn't traditional birthday dessert. He also was well aware that he would be having cupcakes tomorrow and again on Saturday.

We are somewhat South Beach/Paleo around here with Holden's diet. I didn't want you to think that was a typical burger for us...but I guess for the time being, it is. But then again, white potatoes are neither South Beach or Paleo. Oh well. It was just a burger, minus the bread (and everything else) :)

After dessert he was able to rip into his presents, which is always so fun to watch. He loved his new toys.

You might remember Jeremy took Holden to the monster truck show here. Well, he just went nuts when he opened the Mohawk Warrior truck from Pax. 

The excitement in his face...that's the wonderful side of his passion that I mention so often. And goodness, Pax had such joy in giving to his brother. He is an incredibly sweet 3-year old. He has some wonderful qualities and today those shone brightly as we celebrated and focussed on Holden.

Yes, those are drums that Jeremy and I bought for him. We may regret it. But the boy LOVES to drum. He's always using some type of pencils, forks, sticks to drum on just about anything. I believe he's picked it up the interest from watching the drummers at church. So he was very excited to see this drum set when he opened it.

We've haven't really gotten into Legos around here. But Jeremy wanted to give it a try. So we got him two beginner type Lego sets and Jeremy and Holden worked on one of them tonight.

It was a wonderful day celebrating our Holden. A big 5 year update coming soon!