Adoption Update

I've been waiting to post an update once I felt like we had made some headway in our process. We definitely moved through our side of the paperwork very quickly. Paperwork, applications, interviews at our home, fingerprinting, background checks. . .we got it all completed in record time. So for a couple of weeks we've just been waiting on the return of most of those things. That part has been out of our control. Definitely the harder part. Just sitting and waiting. I've been saying during this time that we are waiting to be waiting. Meaning: we are waiting to be an actual "waiting family" with our agency. As of last night, our home study was mailed off by our social worker in Texas to our agency in Oklahoma. I believe that once the agency receives a few more reference sheets, we should get a bill and then soon after that payment has been made, we will get notification that we are officially a waiting family. I'm very eager and ready to be in that category. :)
As usual, God has been very close and real during this short amount of time of the process so far. I've said it before, but the adoption process really draws me to Him like nothing else. I can't explain it. It's the thought that my baby is out there in this world. It is probably already growing in the belly of a sweet woman right now. I can not physically see or feel any of it and so there is a large speraration that I sense most of the time. I have no details about my baby right now so it can seem a bit fuzzy and vague. But on the other hand, I just know it's happening and that part feels very real. A huge comfort for me is knowing God sees and knows my sweet little one and this birthmother. His hands are on them both while I can not be anywhere close right now. {There is one God who is father of all, over all, through all and within all. Ephesians 4.6} So He is my only connection to my baby at this time. And honestly, I couldn't ask for more. Nothing tangible for me could be any better than God himself being present with my little one in the same way that He is present with me. And so we talk alot. I go around and around with Him on things that I think maybe he's told me about our future babe. And I doubt myself alot. So honestly, my heart is really torn right now. I'm having a hard time deciphering between God's voice and possibly dreaming up my own desires for our family. I keep asking for confirmation, but I haven't received any yet. Jeremy tells me that if it happens, that's my confirmation. That I did indeed hear from God. So simple. But of course, I want to know now. So I keep talking with Him and asking for some kind of clarity. I think that's where I'm exactly supposed to be: talking to Him constantly and trusting Him with each day ahead. But doesn't He want this from me all the time and not just during this time of need. . .or what sort of feels like a need.  It has already been a good period of growth and learning more about Him. And I hope to know Him even better at the end of this little process.
One thing is for sure. . .these handsome fellas are ready to be big brothers. They are a delightful distraction as we wait for our next. I have MUCH to be thankful for and countless reasons to continue to trust.