the celebration.

There is a huge sense of peace of knowing that God knew our entire route before we ever began the journey. Even at the "end" of a journey, there is something so peaceful to look back through the bumps and to just know that God was walking with us and completely aware of what was ahead for us. Even through our somewhat short time of trying to get pregnant, I remember a calmness when I stopped to remind myself that someone greater than I was in control. And that someone, could be trusted whole heartedly. So through this little adoption journey, frustrating as it was at times . . . God knew and He was there. The whole dang time. And I think I lost sight of that at times. So looking back at the past, almost 17 months, that still sends peace over me. It's just something I've been thinking about alot today. Those fearful, sad or frustrating moments, God knew our boy was right where he was supposed to be. And he also knew that Pax would not be going anywhere. Even though I didn't have that full confidence 9 months ago, it's still a comfort to know that He knew all along. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone out there, but it's what has been on my heart. And it's something I have been thanking God for today. For knowing our future, holding our hand through those fearful times and ultimately being the one in control, even when it may seem that humanity has the control. There has been alot of reflection, praise and thankgiving going on in my heart today. But there has been much-o celebration in our home!

We woke in the dark this morning to get pretty for court! :) We left the house at 7:00am to make it on time. They wanted us there bright and early and apparently our attorney didn't know that Pax prefers to sleep in. Bummer for Pax on his special day. Jeremy and I got ourselves ready and then woke the boys at the last minute to get them dressed and comb their hair. Holden pretty quickly snapped into his happy self. Though, I never recommend waking EITHER of our boys. Pax took longer to warm up and had his eyes closed most of the time that I was dressing him. Sweet thing! My parents stayed the night and followed us to the court house this morning. It was a such an early hearing that my mom and dad were the only ones that were able to make it with us. But thanks to a super sweet, smiling, bright blue-eyed judge, it was a special time for our family. It was evident that he loved adoptions and made every effort to make it so special and memorable for us. At the end of our hearing, as he told us something like: Before today our responsibility to Pax was moral. Today it becomes legal. And now our relationship to Pax was identical to that of a natural born son. As he stated the above, I stared into his eyes, wanting to soak it all in, and my own eyes began to spill over tears. He smiled sweetly and the bailiff handed out tissues. A special, special time this morning.

We were home by 9:00am and Pax went down for a nap. We had small (actually tiny) party at 11:00am. Tiny because our attendees began to drop like flies. Kids were sick and there were some other conflicts. So it ended up being my parents and my friend Autumn with her boys, Jackson and Luke. We missed Aunt Amy, cousin Cameron and our other friends that weren't able to make it. But we had a great time with our little bunch that did get to come and celebrate our boy.

Below are a few pictures from our day. Thanks dad for taking them all. And some things you might notice . . .
You'll notice that every little boy needs a snap brim hat when they go to court for finalization. Holden needed one back then. And so, of course, Pax needed one for his special day. And luckily, Pax LOVES wearing hats. Like . . . he cries when I take them off his head.
At the party Pax wore his new It's official . . .I'm a @*#!$$!& (insert our last name here) shirt. I bought Holden a 6-12month onesie when we finalized with him at around 6 months of age. I actually planned for all of my kiddos to use that same onesie. Never in a million years did I think it would take this long for this type of adoption. So mister Pax had to get a new one.
We bought Holden a sock monkey for his adoption gift back in 2008. Holden loves his monkey and it goes everywhere with him! So I found Pax a little blue one. Can you tell I am thick into traditions? It might be a sickness. Anyways, Pax loved it and immediately held it tight as soon as he pulled it out of the bag. And if you've stuck around this long . . .here are the pictures.