"no tongue, please".

For the past 2 nights I have made the above statement as my sweet, little boys are sharing a simple goodnight kiss. Weird, right? It sure sounded weird coming out of my mouth last night. And then Jeremy and I had to hold back our laughter. At the boys bedtime, we all do goodnight kisses. Jeremy and I each kiss Holden and Pax and then the boys share a kiss. Well, we noticed several weeks ago that Pax was giving Jeremy and I normal closed mouth kisses. But when it was Holden's turn for a kiss, his mouth was pretty much closed but his little tongue was barely poking out. And he always came at Holden that way, but with a smile. Mischevious, right? By the 3rd night of this I realized he was doing it on purpose! See, sometimes I think he's this little innocent baby. Ha! But he's so clever. And he was being a silly, little, toot to his older brother by sticking his tongue out for their kiss. So Holden would wipe his mouth with his sleeve every night after their kiss, with no complaints. But of course Holden noticed us laughing about it one night. So in his mind, it became a cute thing to do. So now when I say "give bubba a kiss", Holden sticks out his tongue. Not just barely, but to the point that it's almost touching his chin. And that's when I say "no tongue, please". And everytime, it just sounds weird! Brothers. The begining of many silly memories.

This week . . .

Obviously Monday was a big day in our home. But the rest of the week has been low key. One morning, I pulled out Holden's art box that my sister made for him as a Christmas gift. Such a cool idea. See?
And we got to crafting and cutting and stamping and stickering. He even made Jeremy a birthday card for Sunday. It was a pretty fun crafty morning for Holden.Later Pax and Holden sat for a while and rolled a ball. I love it when they play together. Even if it's something so simple as rolling a ball. :)
Well, and then today . . .we had this beautiful spring weather! It felt like April. Crazy warm. So after naps, we spent a good chunk of time outside in the backyard enjoying the sunshine.

Very low key. My kind of week.

weekend visitors.

This past weekend, we had a visit from our wonderful friends that live in Oklahoma City. This was the first time they had brought their daughter, Abigail, to our house. We became friends with Kevin and Andrea pretty soon after moving to OKC. And we just never had a clue what we would have in common 5 years later. God led us to adoption in different ways but now we share similar hearts and a unique commonality. Abigail came home from Ethiopia last April. She is pretty precious and a sweetie and Holden thought so too. He invaded her bubble ALOT. He just has to be right up on everyone. No concept of personal space yet for Holden. :) But we had so much fun with our friends. Staying up late chatting and playing games. And I learned how fun Mario Brothers is with 4 players! Oh my, I've never laughed so hard and it will never be as much fun with 2 players again. That was a nighttime thing after the kids went to bed. And since it's becoming a habit, we took no pictures of the adults. Just the kiddos.
On Friday morning we all went to the Children's Museum:

Thanks friends for making the trip and spending you weekend with us. We enjoyed every minute!

the celebration.

There is a huge sense of peace of knowing that God knew our entire route before we ever began the journey. Even at the "end" of a journey, there is something so peaceful to look back through the bumps and to just know that God was walking with us and completely aware of what was ahead for us. Even through our somewhat short time of trying to get pregnant, I remember a calmness when I stopped to remind myself that someone greater than I was in control. And that someone, could be trusted whole heartedly. So through this little adoption journey, frustrating as it was at times . . . God knew and He was there. The whole dang time. And I think I lost sight of that at times. So looking back at the past, almost 17 months, that still sends peace over me. It's just something I've been thinking about alot today. Those fearful, sad or frustrating moments, God knew our boy was right where he was supposed to be. And he also knew that Pax would not be going anywhere. Even though I didn't have that full confidence 9 months ago, it's still a comfort to know that He knew all along. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone out there, but it's what has been on my heart. And it's something I have been thanking God for today. For knowing our future, holding our hand through those fearful times and ultimately being the one in control, even when it may seem that humanity has the control. There has been alot of reflection, praise and thankgiving going on in my heart today. But there has been much-o celebration in our home!

We woke in the dark this morning to get pretty for court! :) We left the house at 7:00am to make it on time. They wanted us there bright and early and apparently our attorney didn't know that Pax prefers to sleep in. Bummer for Pax on his special day. Jeremy and I got ourselves ready and then woke the boys at the last minute to get them dressed and comb their hair. Holden pretty quickly snapped into his happy self. Though, I never recommend waking EITHER of our boys. Pax took longer to warm up and had his eyes closed most of the time that I was dressing him. Sweet thing! My parents stayed the night and followed us to the court house this morning. It was a such an early hearing that my mom and dad were the only ones that were able to make it with us. But thanks to a super sweet, smiling, bright blue-eyed judge, it was a special time for our family. It was evident that he loved adoptions and made every effort to make it so special and memorable for us. At the end of our hearing, as he told us something like: Before today our responsibility to Pax was moral. Today it becomes legal. And now our relationship to Pax was identical to that of a natural born son. As he stated the above, I stared into his eyes, wanting to soak it all in, and my own eyes began to spill over tears. He smiled sweetly and the bailiff handed out tissues. A special, special time this morning.

We were home by 9:00am and Pax went down for a nap. We had small (actually tiny) party at 11:00am. Tiny because our attendees began to drop like flies. Kids were sick and there were some other conflicts. So it ended up being my parents and my friend Autumn with her boys, Jackson and Luke. We missed Aunt Amy, cousin Cameron and our other friends that weren't able to make it. But we had a great time with our little bunch that did get to come and celebrate our boy.

Below are a few pictures from our day. Thanks dad for taking them all. And some things you might notice . . .
You'll notice that every little boy needs a snap brim hat when they go to court for finalization. Holden needed one back then. And so, of course, Pax needed one for his special day. And luckily, Pax LOVES wearing hats. Like . . . he cries when I take them off his head.
At the party Pax wore his new It's official . . .I'm a @*#!$$!& (insert our last name here) shirt. I bought Holden a 6-12month onesie when we finalized with him at around 6 months of age. I actually planned for all of my kiddos to use that same onesie. Never in a million years did I think it would take this long for this type of adoption. So mister Pax had to get a new one.
We bought Holden a sock monkey for his adoption gift back in 2008. Holden loves his monkey and it goes everywhere with him! So I found Pax a little blue one. Can you tell I am thick into traditions? It might be a sickness. Anyways, Pax loved it and immediately held it tight as soon as he pulled it out of the bag. And if you've stuck around this long . . .here are the pictures.

Happy Adoption Day, Pax!

Oh mister Pax, what a day of celebration we are having! Your finalization day has been a long, long, long time coming. This morning it all became official. We will forever be your family. You will forever be our son. And you will forever bear our name. Today has been exciting thus far! On September 14, 2009, we saw your face in person and met you for the first time. After introductions and some wonderful time with your birthmom, we slipped you into your carrier, secured you into our car and drove you home. It was that day that you became our son. Not today. It was that day that I immediately felt this unconditional love that somehow has continued to grow and has nearly burst open my heart too many times to count. It's been a little bumpy getting to this day. I've been frustrated at times. And just plain sad at other times. And over the last 17 months, there were moments that I was overcome with fear. I was fearful that we might not see this day. That I might wake up one morning and you would no longer be in our home. And those thoughts were completely overwhelming. They first drove me into a panic, but then to my knees. For I know by now that God does not give us a spirit of fear and timidity. That fear wasn't from the Lord.

So once again in our lives, He has shown us goodness. He has been faithful. He has answered our prayers in the way we hoped He would. You are another miracle in our family and evidence of our great God. And we are grateful to God who has accomplished this. Honestly, grateful can't really describe it. We are overwhelmed what God has done for us in building our family. When I think of how He has woven us together and made us a family, I'm truly in awe. So today, we will celebrate you and how you are officially and legally our boy forever! And I can't help but praise God who made it all happen. Baby boy, you are a blessing beyond any words my mouth can even muster. I am privaledged and honored to be your momma FOREVER. We love you, mister Pax!

Pax, You are:

My cuddlebug. My little dare devil. My sensitive soul. My bookworm. My mama's boy. My slow riser. My clumsy baby. My adventurous eater. My favorite giggle. My laid-back mister. My television lover. My morning snuggle. My shoeless/sockless boy. My drama king. My milkaholic. My family man. My kissable cheek. My miracle. My funny dancer. My climber. My sweet and affectionate littlest boy. I can't imagine you holding any other spot in this family!

Holden, You are:

My bookworm. My busy boy. My big mess. My predictable sleeper. My miracle. My boundary pusher. My ball of energy. My fast runner. My big talker. My picky eater. My cautious toddler. My little fish. My favorite smile. My car and truck obsessor. My independent child. My right hand helper. My Dennis the Menace. My cute singer. My social butterfly. My homebody. My outside lover. My sweet, lovable and playful firstborn boy. I can't imagine you holding any other spot in this family!

names.

A few weeks ago I learned (or maybe re-learned because I HAD to have heard this at some point) that Angelina Jolie has a son named Pax. Hmmmmm. And she has had her son much longer than we have had ours. How did I miss this? So we copied a celebrity baby name without even realizing it. I told my friend this disturbing news the day I learned it and she thought that was where I had gotten the name! From Ms. Angelina Jolie! No ma'am. It wasn't. I taught Vacation Bible School in the summer of 2009. In my 5 year old class there was a boy named Paxton. A month or so later, when we learned of our 2nd little boy, that name resurfaced among many, many other names that Jeremy quickly shot down. Had he been more agreeable, Pax would probably have been named Cohen. I still like that one. But Jeremy did not like it in 2008 for Holden. And he did not like it in 2009 for Pax. Had I been more agreeable, Pax might have been named Noah. But obviously we chose Paxton. And we chose it, knowing full well that we would call him Pax. I normally choose a name because I like it and not so much because of the meaning. If it has a symbolic meaning, that's just a bonus. So there is a bonus here. I do love that Pax means "peaceful" and I look forward to seeing how that will play out in his life. And I might as well fit Holden into this blog. I also like that Holden means "in the valley". Why would I like that, you ask? Because before Holden came along, we spent some time in that valley kicking around the dirt. And when Holden entered our lives, we exited that valley and haven't been back since. So there is a little bit of randomness about my boys' names . . . not much else going on to report.

some favorite gifts.

Okay, we loved all of our Christmas gifts this year. I promise. Even if it's not posted here. I just blew a wad of cash at the outlet mall today. So I obviously loved that gift! Thanks mom and dad. But here were a few cool ones that I wanted to mention.

Jeremy's great aunt bought the boy this cool tent with attaching tunnel (not included in my picture). They have gone absolutely BANANAS over it! And so I took of picture of them with it so we could show her how much they love it. We didn't get to do Christmas Eve with Jeremy's extended family, as we were with my family this year. But Jeremy's sister delivered our gifts when she came to our house last week. So his sweet Aunt Pat didn't get to see how much they love their tent. This picture will be going in the mail to her so she can see for herself. I debated getting a tent like this one for Christmas. But since we tend to keep the gifts to a minimum, I didn't buy it. And so my mouth hung open when they opened this. And literally, it seems like we've just given Holden 7 spoonfuls of sugar everytime he gets to playing in the tent and tunnel. It does something a little crazy to that boy. Pax loves it too. He's just not as hyper as Holden. (thank you, God.)
My sister and brother-in-law (maybe more just the brother-in-law. Honestly, not sure) made this creative BIG gift for us. It was so big, I wasn't sure where it was going to exactly land. And though I would have LOVED for it to go in the kitchen, with all the windows and cabinets, I didn't have the wall space. So for now, it's in the playroom. And we are ATTEMPTING to do some family scriptures together. Memorization for Jeremy and I and lots of talking about it and reading it to the boys. That's one of my hopes for 2011. That as parents, we will be dilligent with this for our kids. But probably even more so, for us and our own hearts. You may not be able to tell in the picture, but it's an old window frame. They painted it and distressed it and then added the chalkboard paint. Such a cute idea and I love it!
And the last cool gift I'm showing you is this little wooden nativity. Jeremy's mom and her husband found it for Jeremy. But I love it as if it's my own. :) I love the wooden silhouette of the scene. It's simple. And it's perfect.

self portrait.

I'm pretty sure that Holden played with my camera at some point today . . .or yesterday. Because I just don't remember taking this one. And I'm pretty sure that it was after he had enjoyed some peanut butter. Wow. That is a close-up.

Christmas Finale

On Tuesday evening, Jeremy's mom and husband came to stay. Shortly after their arrival, his sister and our niece showed up as well. With Holden's new bed, we had a comfy place for everyone to sleep. Though we did boot Holden out of his room and made him a comfy spot on the floor of our room. We had a fun time with Jeremy's family. Eating, playing the Wii, playing cards around the kitchen table and of course opening more presents. It was a fun couple of days, though I was a bit under the weather and feeling a bit loopy most of the time. Here are a few pictures from our time with this side of the family.

Pax was SUPER clingy to me over the holidays. I've never seen anything like it. He's always been more cautious than Holden with friends and family, but this was a completely new side of him that we saw last week. Well, grandma came up with a good idea. She let him Wii bowl with her and he had a ball. He laughed and clapped and stayed in her lap for a good 30 minutes as they took their turn at bowling. It was pretty cute.
And, as always, Holden loved playing with his cousin, Hannah.
And this was the end of our Christmas festivities. Fun, fun and fun.

Christmas with Papa J and Nana

We arrived at Papa J and Nana's house in the late afternoon of Christmas Eve. The Colorado sister (Amanda) and her family were already there. The Texas sister (Amy) and her family arrived shortly after. It was fun to have all 7 grandkids together because it seems to be a rare treat. One of those things that happens a couple of times per year, which in my opinion, is not often enough. And of course, it was fun for me to have both sisters together and the husbands. Those boys get along perfectly and are great friends, which is such a blessing. We had several days together, which also included Christmas at both of my grandparents homes. I was kind of spotty with my camera. Sometimes I had it on me and other times I didn't. So here are just a few of the pictures I do have from the days we were at my mom and dad's house.
All of the grandchildren eating around the dining table. If you only count 6, then check the back right corner. Ava is in the high chair. The same one my sisters and I used growing up.
Bella is 16 months older than Holden and they get along really well. She likes to play little mommy and he loves for her to play that role. The other reason they get along so well, is her gentle and sweet spirit. I'm pretty sure that Miss Bella can get along with just about anybody. She really is too sweet for words.
Papa J holding the little ones. Ava is 6 weeks younger than Pax. I have several pictures of the 2 of them together . . . We did a little playing outside.And lots of playing inside.
Including a group effort of a gingerbread house and a gingerbread train.
And then the infamous dance party that seems to happen when these kids get together.
Nana opened up a doll hospital and made a few repairs. :) Bella's Dora doll had some issues. And then Holden's monkey almost had his face bitten off by Holden. Ugh. This has happened slowly since he gave up his paci. But now monkey is as good as new!You see, it was busy and crowded and just plain nuts at times. But so fun! And it was a sweet time of fellowship for our family. And it was definitely a fun time for the kids. Little, fun memories that are starting to form, for some in the group.
And when we returned home the next Monday, we quickly began preparing for company. One last Christmas to celebrate with Jeremy's family. Coming soon.